We've been fans of the Pedobear/R.I.P 2pac/Freedom Van that parks around Cesar Chavez for quiet some time, and recently other neighborhood notables picked up on it and give it more deserved praise. But today we learn--much to our dismay--that the rando behind the wheel of our neighborhood's most idiosyncratic vehicle is actually Jeff "Jeffy" Allen, a professional pick-up instructor who harasses local women on OkCupid. Katie J.M. Baker of Jezebel got to the bottom of it:
Last August, Amanda, a 26-year old Marketing Manager for a software company based in San Francisco, received an message on OKCupid from Captain_Derp. His initial missive was obnoxiously twee — "Um. Hi. Anyways, I feel you appear attractive and consequently would like to explore the possibility of enhancing your life by means of exposure to my awesomeness kthxbai" — but she was curious about a photo on his profile, captioned: "Consensual Sex in the Missionary Position For the Sole Purpose of Reproduction Van. I painted it myself." [...]
Captain_Derp asked her to meet him at a tapas bar, but the night before their date she had a change of heart, and messaged him to say as much. In response, he wrote, "Why am I not surprised. Eat a bag of dicks" and "Also, I guarantee your date with me would be far more horrifying than these last two amateurs you went out with. I drive a fucking RAPE VAN. Ps you're fat." Lovely. [Read on]
Not only that, but the stencils of people on the back isn't some sort of hilarious joke "people I've hit" body count, but actually a boastful running tally of women he's given STDs to:
Should we be giving someone the attention they crave simply for being a chauvinist? No. But considering we've sung his praises before, letting this slide is just too much.