Dust Off Your Headshot: DijitalFix is Hiring Sales People

Ever want to break into in the exciting world of retail sales?  Do you aspire to be the talk of the town as you thanklessly hawk dubstep massage chairs to rich people?  Do stores whose elevator pitch are “Sharper Image meets Valencia Street” represent your life's aspirations?

Well, it's time to sex up your headshot, because DijitalFix, Valencia's latest audio boutique, in hiring.

Uptown Almanac reader Samuel, who notes, “this is the dumbest shit help wanted ad ever,” forwards us along their minimum requirements for basically minimum wage employment:

SAN FRANCISCO STORE SEEKING AWESOME STAFF

Now hiring passionate, inspired sales people with specialized interest in music, technology, photography, art + design. We are looking to kick off our dedicated & exclusive staffing with team members who can fit into the aesthetic and concept of the store while adding their own distinctive style. We need sales people who are confidant and great with customers, intelligent and responsive to changing trends in the field, motivated to maintain the look and effectiveness of our unique store, and above all, COOL PEOPLE who are easy to be around and fit in to our team just right.

You must have some expertise in ideally all of the following areas: music + music tech, art + graphic design, photography, gadgets + new technologies.

Since our staff is small, we are looking for someone who will not only be our employee, but also our friend, inspiration, and authority on their own distinctive style. That said, please include answers to the following questions:

1. Favorite record of all time
2. Biggest inspiration in the field of technology
3. Biggest inspiration in the field of photography

In addition to these questions, please include a resume + cover letter, and a photograph of yourself. No applications will be considered without all of these requested assets.

Do you have the distinctive style and requisite cuteness for the job? If so, shoot off your resume/Pinterest profile to jobs@dijitalfix.com.

Good luck!

[Photo by conniepwu]

Comments (14)

Ugh, why can’t we have a fucking REAL electronics store in the Mission? Is that so much to ask?

curious, what qualifies as “REAL” electronics store?

Other than Best Buy (which is horrid, yes) how could a brick & mortar electronics store possibly survive nowadays? what with Amazon, et al. Even Best Buy is having trouble staying afloat.

This store takes a different approach, stocking boutique items not readily available elsewhere, which have a high liklihood of appealing to mission residents. Seems like a smart move to me.

Nice try, DijitalFix proprietor.

… Radio Shack.

I went in there before Christmas, and it seemed to be about half-filled with device cases, with a few novelty speakers thrown in for quirk value. As I looked around, two things I was not concerned with were the staff’s favorite albums or “inspirations in the field of technology.”* What I wanted was the management/ownership to work harder to find cool things to fill the space with.

* A. WTF does that even mean? B. Whoever invented indoor plumbing.

A help-wanted ad requiring that you submit a photo is not a good sign.

It might be illegal.

I guess they are going for hipster irony by calling a company that seems to focus on analog gear - DigitalFix??

1. My favorite record is Rickey Henderson’s 130 stolen bases for the 1982 Athletics. Nobody has come even close since.
2. Biggest inspiration in the field of technology is the money I make in the field of technology. That paycheck gets me out of bed everyday.
3. Biggest inspiration in the field of photography is Ginger Blaze. I could stare at photos of her all day and night long.

Do you have to shower daily?

Yes, but the shower can be golden.

‘Steel Reserve 211’ golden? Or ‘Steel Reserve 211’ golden after it circulates through my urinary system? I know, they both look/smell/taste the same, but i’m still curious.

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