Local Man Loses Bet
I was at this house party yesterday afternoon and then, out of nowhere, this guy who didn't even appear to be on drugs put on that terrible Six Pence None The Richer song, ripped his shirt from his body, and began vandalizing his chest with the iconic statement "Free Hugz + Kizzez." After all that, he scandalously stripped down to his under trousers and began hugging every clothed person in sight.
But it gets better: after pressing his skin up against everyone, he sprawled out on a beach chair started gorging himself with cornsyrup logs while the crowd looked on unconcerned for the man's well-being.
Observe:
Now, I can't really imagine what would drive a man to publicly strip down to his undies and force feed himself Twinkies like he was making human foie gras, but it probably has something to do with "an exploration of our comforting indulgences" or "a dare from a friend" or "I was hot and hungry."
Anyway, props to this guy, as he made performance art as sufferable as it gets.
Comments
A house party on a Wednesday afternoon?
Get a job, looser.
(seething anger masking crippling jealousy)
For what it's worth, I wasn't even invited. I just heard the music and walked on in.
Do you have a job?
so nosey!
Vaguely curious.
Do you not have tasks to get done at your job? What line of work is so conducive to being the president of the Uptown Almanac fan club?
I'm not the president, I just post here occasionally.
That's not what Vice President KevBro went on record with during yesterday's press conference.
Yeah, Kev has several jobs. Raccounteur...Roustabout...Raffish Rogue...and that's just his occupations that begin with R.
Somebody, please, give the twinkie guy a job already.
yes, a hand job.
This gives me hope for the future. Vaya con Dios!
So that's what white people do for fun.
LOL @ the people in the crowd actually grooving to Six Pence None the Richer.
It's a great song!
the worst part about this is when he starts giving away hugs. the guy looks like he has the distinct aroma of wet dog and durian.
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