Taking the 'Commie' Out of Christmas

I'm sick and tired of Big Christmas and Uncle Santa's yearly socialist retribution of wealth.  Every December 25th, the red flannel menace whips our country's baby creators with taxes only to shower the lazy breast-feeding do-nothings with handouts and new stuffed animals.  It's time we take Saint Nick, that Kenyan terror-president, and maybe Sean Penn and toss 'em in a Siberian Gulag.  To die.  Forever.

Also, is May too early to start thinking about Christmas?