As I danced down SVN last night in a frenzied state of sobriety, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell were up with all the new benches lining the street.

At first I figured it was some dumb neighbor trying to make our streets more “friendly” and “livable” or some shit, but it just didn't add up.  Why the orchestrated effort to line some 8+ blocks of South Van Ness with benches (no cheap feat, might I add) without installing plaques reveling in one's own Samaritanism?  And what kind of do-gooder would put a bar in the middle of the benches preventing two lovers from snuggling together or, more likely, cockblocking a homeless dude from laying down and rubbing one out into a rumpled copy of the Bay Guardian?

Ah yes, only the government is that heartless.

By the looks of it, the city went down South Van Ness and installed benches at all the stops for the rerouted Mission Street Muni lines earlier this week.

Sure, there might be a pile of puke, some wayward refuse, and a medley of decaying organic matter tossed about.  And they're certainly not going to keep you dry in the rain. But really, these new old school Muni 'shelters' are so much better than those freakish Clear Channel monstrosities that practically take up the entire sidewalk:

Also, can we keep the benches once the Muni lines return to Mission Street?  They, like, make our streets more livable.