Where to Watch the Iowa Caucus Results

If you, for some reason, should find yourself interested in seeing who becomes the bona fide front-runner for the GOP nomination/care about what a bunch of corn shuckers and heehaws think/want a reason to start drinking at 6pm, here's a quick breakdown of bars that will be airing the Iowa Caucus returns tonight:

  • Shotwell's will be showing it on one of their TVs, but since they don't serve liquor, you won't be able to do celebratory shots when Rick Santorum becomes the first gay male to win a presidential nominating contest.
  • Dr. Teeth will have it on a TV as well, but they'll be doing their usual Tuesday night trivia, so there won't be any sound (not that you wanted to listen to it anyway)
  • Dirty Thieves will put it on if you ask real nice.  Plus, there's something to be said for watching a bunch of dirty thieves scramble for votes in Dirty Thieves.  Also, whiskey.

Other bars of note:

  • While I have no idea if Bender's will be showing the election returns, it is Tequila Terror Tuesday, in which they sell shots of tequila pairs with Tecate for $6 and play horror movies all night.  Horror movies, GOP nomination… you get the joke.
  • If you ask the bartenders at Mission Bar to change the channel to the news, you'll most likely learn some fantastic new curse word you never dreamed possible for a human being to even conceptualize.
  • I've seen the TVs at Clooney's playing news before (albeit, it was SportsCenter), and I'm sure the old men will be offering up some of the best political punditry you'll ever hear.

Democracy!

Comments (3)

I’ve watched political shit at 500 Club, Dovre, and the Phoenix. Those those were all big (Obama election night) or entertaining (Palin debate).

I’m pretty sure you’re gonna have a hard time getting them to turn off college bowl games.

That’s the kind of tongue that can make a dick shoot hard and far.