Epic Beard Man: The Movie
Remember Epic Beard Man? Something like 20 internet years ago, some old dude in an I AM A MOTHERFUCKER t-shirt manhandled a guy on AC Transit and the internet blew the most epic load over its collective keyboard.
Well, the bloodthirsty vampires of Hollywood caught the scent of money in the wind and are turning the Best Thing Ever to Happen to AC Transit into a movie... starring Danny Trejo(???). Just read the official plot synopsis for "Bad Ass":
Decorated Vietnam hero Frank Vega returns home only to get shunned by society leaving him without a job or his high school sweetheart. It’s not until forty years later when an incident on a commuter bus (where he protects an elderly black man from a pair of skin heads) makes him a local hero where he’s suddenly celebrated once again. But his good fortune suddenly turns for the worse when his best friend Klondike is murdered and the police aren’t doing anything about it.
And the trailer:
I have a bunch of questions about this. Did they think calling the movie "Bad Ass" would be somehow better than just calling it "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER"? Did they change history so a white man is protecting an elderly black man instead of brutalizing him to keep the /b/tards from totally nutting all over this? Did they pay the original Epic Beard Man, who's now homeless, a dime of royalties for the movie rights? And most importantly, do I even care?
Anyway, the film has no release date and co-stars what's-his-face from Sons of Anarchy, so yeah, this will probably rule.
Comments
And who will play Amber Lamps?
I don't do anything at work, and am oddly fascinated by this - it is Charles S Dutton, I'd bet - another person who I don't know unless I see their stupid face. Amber Lamps is probably named "Panther"
Charles S. Dutton is awesome and all, but I am skeptical of his ability to play a skinny white hipster chick in spandex.
Interesting race substitution they did there...
Wait, does it take place in LA instead of Oakland? Lame.
Hella lame.
oh get the fuck out. if you'd TOLD me this I'd be all "omg an onion joke" but it's FUCKING FOR REALS and wow hollywood has no ideas.
BAD ASS!
Here is amber lamps - sitting in front of the cell phone girl. Not as good as the real thing... at all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UCHk5pFmU&feature=player_detailpage#t=5s
If anything, that change would piss off the racists of 4chan.
I just remembered something -- the SF Weekly story specifically mentions that "Epic Beard Man" sold the movie rights:
Source is here
So maybe he did get paid for this?
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