Wondering why your ass has been getting soaked while sitting in Dolores Park, despite three-long rainless months? Jay B. of Cyclecide, park patron who, unlike me, clearly wakes up before noon on weekends, tells us what's up:

Have you noticed that they have tripled the watering hours in Dolores? Is it an attempt to deter 40 swilling hipsters, or part of Wreck'n' Park's Grand Evil Plan? The press statement would go something like: “The drainage problem has gotten so bad that we have to fast track the $2 million irrigation upgrade which can only be paid for by turning the Historic Bathroom Building into a McDonald's immediately.”

All jokes about a conspiracy to put a McDonald's in the park aside, I've seen more soggy asses b-line out of the park in recent weeks than I did all Spring.  And since it is about to become illegal to disrobe and let your damp drawers dry out while dining, we can't be having any wet asses leaving the park.  So write a letter to Congress demanding justice for our flooded grass, or whatever.

[Title and photo by Jay]