BREAKING NEWS: The Fourpocalypse Is Still Upon Us!
DISCLAIMER: NO GRAPHIC DESIGNERS WERE EMPLOYED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BILLBOARD.Having risen from the ashes of fallen 2k10 memes, the Four Horseman of the Fourpocalyspe ride again to deliver cryptic billboard messages to East Bay commuter drones. Thankfully, the sexy/multiracial news team at News 4 is providing minute to minute coverage of this "breaking news"; Four Loko is now ingestible in a bottled form. Follow up investigation reports that the new 'Poco Loko' 16oz cans will also hit the shelves soon, delivering sugar and shit quality alcohol in a smaller form factor to better infiltrate your life.
But as for the mysterious new slogan "EVERYTHING'S GONE", News 4 seems stumped. Is this a reference to the caffeine and other stimulants that have since been removed from the Four Loko formula? Perhaps a nod to the once dwindling and now extinct supply of 'pre-ban' Lokos from our nation's bodegas?? Or has the Fourapture come to whisk devout cans of Loko away before the coming Fourpocalypse???
Something tells me that 'News 4' won't be doing much coverage of any Four Loko related deaths.
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