— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
This Friday, our favorite neighborhood theater, The Roxie, 21st Amendment and CellSpace are hosting “the best roller disco movie party of the summer.” The Roxie will be showing the Scott Baio (just ask anyone born before the Cobain assassination who he is) feature, “Skatetown, U.S.A.,” pouring cheap 21st Amendment beer for the crowd, and then sending everyone over to CellSpace for their infamous roller disco party.
If you're unfamiliar with the film, the trailer says it all: terrible music, a bad haircut on wheels discharging a firearm, a man wearing a top hat with beard covered in cocaine, tits, and Patrick Swayze. From the trailer's YouTube description:
The third installment in the devil's unholy trilogy of godawful Eighties roller disco flicks meant to destroy mankind's collective sense of good taste once and for all. Naturally, I could not possibly recommend this movie any more highly.
Patrick Swayze’s big screen debut! Two hunks are pitted against one another in a skate competition at a roller disco. At stake? A thousand bucks and a moped. Ninety-eight minutes of non-stop music, roller skating and comedy. According to her autobiography, former Brady Bunch starlet Maureen McCormick fell into severe cocaine addiction on the set of this movie. FREE TUBE SOCKS! BEER!
If you want to take part of this drunken, cocaine-fueled evening for free, tell us your best 4-wheeled, tube sock, or cocaine story in the comments, and if we like it, we'll hook you up with a pair of tickets. Otherwise, you can go score yourself some tickets for $10 over at the Roxie's website.
Comments (2)
I am willing to humiliate myself by telling this story so that my best friend can see this with me. She is a disco maniac.
four wheeled.( skateboarding…but close enough right? maybe?):
I had imbibed about of pitcher of Sangria whilst watching the filming or a reality show about transvestites throwing water at each other . My friend and I met some scummy lookin’ mission dudes with skateboards and followed them to where ever we might find more drinks.
Naturally I decided I wanted to learn to skateboard right then and there. So I jumped on one of the dude’s board and started awkwardly pushing down Valencia street like some sort of steam powered penguin. I was doing pretty well and started to get confident as we turned the corner. I was skating down a numbered mission street feeling like a total badass and wearing the most inappropriate shoes possible when I saw someone walk out of a door way. He said something and I turned my head to see/hear.
All of a sudden, face on cement. The combined circumstance of me not seeing that I was falling, and me not having full motorskills caused me to fall like a plank onto my face. no arms, no roll. Everyone looked like they thought I was going to die. I guess my plush cheeks saved my head.
I got up, hand to my face, feeling a little concussiony and asked ” what was that guy saying to me?”
“…watch out, the sidewalk is uneven there”. oops.
Then I drink a glass of Gin bought with pity and made out with one of the dudes . It was not my proudest moment, but now I want to be a skater, because it was totally fun. I imagine this story could have happened on rollerskates…also I was wearing tube socks and doing drunks.
Do I win just for being the only person to participate?