I feel asleep watching Jurassic Park the other day—around the scene with the rattling water glass—only to awake an hour later from dreams of velociraptors riding beach cruisers down Market Street and a drop of drool creeping down my shirt.

Somehow, the whole experience of nodding off while sitting erect watching a limp movie on my couch had fused Triassic period visuals into my everyday life. Perhaps not knee-high predators on clunky bicycles battling cabs and the light rail, but within hours I was seeing a Tyrannosaurus rex purchasing bulk gains and a Tie-dyeceratops staring at prepackaged meals.  And while I'm sure I'm not the first person to wander into Rainbow Grocery seeing visions of lizards (see above), I am almost certain that my checkout clerk was a transsexual Jeffery Goldblum.

Long story short, Steven Spielberg and quinoa don't mix.