ATTN LOCAL BUSINESSES: How to get free advertising on Uptown Almanac!

******(un)PAID ADVERTISTMENT*******

Do you own a struggling business?  Need to connect with a young audience?  Do you like mopping?  If you answered yes to these questions, you may qualify for free advertising on Uptown Almanac!

Unbeknownst to them at the time, the fabulous people at Dirty Thieves on 24th and Treat were our trial subjects.  Here's how it works: you give one or more of members of #TEAM_UppyAlmy $40 to go to Pop's and get 'fucking blitzed'.  We'll then go back to your place of business, order one beer, put Beastie Boys on the jukebox and then puke all over your fine establishment. It worked for Dirty Thieves, it could work for you!

Dirty Thieves: We have Biggie and the Beastie Boys on the jukebox.  'nuff said.