THE BATTLE OF BROS ICING BROS: News from the Frontlines against the Axis of Ice

San Francisco!  A call to arms!  

The Battle against icing is no longer just at our doorsteps; a vile invasion from our shallower neighbors to the South.  No my friends, it is being fought right here in our very streets and sadly we are losing.  From Bay to Breakers to SOMA startups, to the Palo Alto palace of Facebook HQ, the bros of the Axis of Ice are swiftly moving from viral meme to being fully entrenched as a cultural institution.  

Yesterday, the Resistance against icing received intel from Gawker agents that none other than Mein Zückerberg himself was spotted icing one of his employees; the two-first-name-having Firefox founder Blake Ross.  It has also been known for some time that the douche-repository site Office Icing was created and run by San Francisco tech-marketing startup [NAME REDACTED]. 

While there were momentary celebrations of victory when Bros Icing Bros appeared to have retreated from battle, new intel reports that this retreat is temporary and that Bros Icing Bros will soon return as a fully funded startup in what is sure to be a 'Blitzkrieg of Bro'.  Estimates of our potential casualties were not yet available at the time of this broadcast. 

We are not safe San Francisco.  Simply refusing to participate is no longer enough to repel the Axis of Ice.  We must fight back with our own memes.  We at the Resistance have created these icing alternatives to aid you in the good fight. 

Bros Flasking Bros: Jameson preferred. 


Bros Ricing Bros: Rice-A-Roni's profits are in the toilet, help a fallen SF icon.


Actually that's just fucking retarded, never mind. 


Can also be done in conjunction with any alternative above.


Bros Tazing Bros.  

Comments (13)

I explained Bros Icing Bros to my gays at Starbucks today. When they understood the premise of icing one squeeled in delight proudly proclaiming that Smirnoff Ice is his favorite alcoholic beverage. He also mentioned maybe having a few on hand in his locker… started by students here in SF that attend THE Miami AdSchool, San Francisco

bros pooping on bros

I like the idea of Bros Whipitizing Bros– the bro sucking the hippie crack should be forced to stand Karate Kid swan-style.


bros raping bros

What if you challenge a bro with a PBR Tallboy?

BROS _________ BROS?

If we were using PBR, the phrase would hopefully not involve the term “BRO“…


Agree. Bros ≠ PBR, how about Kombucha

you’ve got to pay extra for that…

“Bros doucheing Bros” just doesn’t have the same ring as “Bros Felching Bros”…