Recently my friend and I were watching TV at her house and discovered an entire section of Comcast On Demand under the Local tab called Dating on Demand, where personal ads are posted in video form! At the time, we were (for some utterly absurd reason) not interested in what the Kardashians or the Real Housewives of Orange County were getting into, so we ended up watching like eight or nine of these video personals back to back.

As far as context goes, individuals just answer questions like “What do you look for in a man/woman?” or “What was your most erotic experience?” The videos appear to have been shot on the back patio of the Holy Cow, which gives a basic idea of the types of people who are in these. One extremely coked-out guy claims to be “San Francisco’s most popular bar mitzvah DJ.” Another man describes his dream woman as having “eyes like Marisa Tomei.”

Clearly these are worth giving up a half hour of your life, and those of us who don’t have cable can watch the same videos online! Just search under San Francisco in the Profiles tab. You might just find the sweaty B&T middle-manager of your dreams … if you aren’t too busy inventing drinking games that involve doing shots each time someone says “journey,” “connection” or that a mundane activity is “one of” their “passions.”