— By Laura B |
Hella fools came down with food poisoning after a Yelp event a couple nights ago. If you read the comments, they’re all, “the party was super fun, ate some pork sliders, today I can’t feel my feet!” or something like that. Actually, I edited it to not gross you the fuck out with all their talk about shitting up a storm. Oops! Anyway, apparently hella fools had to take numerous days off work. DANG! I always thought Yelp should hand out tums at these events instead of fucking chapstick.
Yelp’s response is to deny, deny, deny! Oh and basically suggest that Yelpers use hand sanitizer. Which, GROSS, and also !?!?
Moral of the story? Stay away from pork. And probably Yelp.
Thanks for the tip, Ed!
Comments (9)
Yelp staff’s comments on the thread are kinda hilarious. It’s like “Oh crap, everyone got sick at our party!? Was it us? No clue! Deny deny deny! Feel better everyone! 5 stars, love ya!”
I ate everything I could get my grubby paws on and I’m totally fine. All my friends are doing ok, as well. Maybe we were the carriers.
This is the best spurious reasoning I’ve ever seen. Ever.
i didn’t eat anything and got sick. get your facts right
baby jesus doesn’t like it when you eat animals.
If I haven’t this clearly enough before, let me say it now - this is why I like your writing Laura, you have this frenetic enthusiasm that just makes me smile every time you say something. Oh, and the use of “hella” in the proper way? LOVE IT.
I don’t heap praise on any ol’ person or personas or blogs, this shit aint cheap. Oh and KevMo is fucking awesome too. Did I say that yet? ALL OF YOU ARE OMG.
yelp is giving pork a bad name, fuck them
Aw, as an anonymous troll I’ve got to say I’ve met Connie, she’s hella cute, and I’ll catch her virus anytime!
unfortunately, connie c is right: it’s kind of impossible to tell where you got food poisoning from. so that’s why yelp is singing that shaggy song.. it wasn’t me!
if yelp really wanted to help its users against the common results of using the site, it would hand out condoms and anti-depressants.