Hey do you need more douchebags in your shitty life? Broadway is having a motherfucking Drop Dead Sexy Mega Block Party so that for only ten bucks you can kick it with all the amatuers all goddamn night! Fuck yeah bro’s and dumbfucks!  I haven’t been out that way in a minute, my brain can’t take it. Last time I was on broadway yelled at a hammertoe trying to enhale a plate of shitty top40 enchiladas outside of Impala. Yeah way to use your bullshit dresscode to classy up your violent diarrhea of a nightclub, dumpy girls hammertoeing the night away with some motherfucking shitbag who thinks his button up is cool because someone spraypainted a fucking falcon on it, yeah real fucking grown and sexy. Your shirt looks like fingerpaint made from Picasso’s dead balls, you win softhands. But remember fitted jeans only kids. Because we all know you can’t get down with the mash-up trainwreck of a bitchass dj unless your true religions have the appropriate ratio of dickface to shitcunt.

Saturday night is going to be fucking awesome! Barcrawls! Vomit! Bottle Service! Fights! Strippers! Walgreens Cologne! FUCK YEAH!