Kevin Montgomery

After several failed abortion attempts, Kevin was shat out of his mother's uterus on a beautiful summer day in 1984, raising him in a quaint New England town know for its art festivals, scenic rivers, political activism, and asparagus. Since then, he has sought out the most squalid living circumstances possible in a vain attempt to return to the womb.

Kevin moved to California with the intention of squandering his 20s living along a beach, spending his days learning to surf, biking, and drinking Carlo Rossi by the jug. He wound up in San Francisco.

I don't think before I type's Posts

Oakland Now 81% More Popular Among People Who Can Afford Downpayments

04/09/2013 - 3:31pm

Handy Warm Weather Threat Advisory System Reminds Us That San Francisco is About to Become Extra Fleshy

04/09/2013 - 12:00pm

Silly Danish Brewery Still Thinks Mission Kids Are Called Hipsters

04/08/2013 - 10:20am

Officer-Involved Shooting at 17th and Valencia Leaves 2 Critical

04/08/2013 - 9:51am

Neighbor Seeks to Block Dolores Park Renovations—Because of Childhood Obesity

04/08/2013 - 5:30am

The 5 Stages of Twitter Grieving in 30 Minutes or Less

04/04/2013 - 1:34pm

Local Badass Tames Flaming Motorcycle

04/04/2013 - 11:58am

Muni's New Buses Are Two Fuzzy Pink Eyebrows Away From Being SF's Scariest Transportation Disrupter

04/04/2013 - 11:48am

As More Valet Parking Comes to Valencia, Supervisors Cool on Proposed Restaurant Moratorium

04/03/2013 - 1:51pm

Statement from Adobe Books on Their Eviction

04/03/2013 - 12:20pm

I don't think before I type's Comments

You can stop being jealous of

Posted in Void Boys: Feel The Noise

02/18/2013 - 4:59pm

They had a shout-out to the

Posted in The Ultimate Girl's Guide to Hyper-Local Hottie Heaven

02/12/2013 - 3:15pm

Gavin Newsom and some guy

Posted in Biking of Divisadero: Dick Move

02/12/2013 - 9:16am

Yes, not all anarchists are

Posted in Protest Against "Racist Police Brutality" and Gentrification Scheduled Tomorrow

02/06/2013 - 12:07pm

Well please hip us to your

Posted in Local Photographer The Tens to Hold Photo Show at City Hall

02/07/2013 - 10:11am

I'M WEARING MY WINNIE THE

Posted in Protest Against "Racist Police Brutality" and Gentrification Scheduled Tomorrow

02/06/2013 - 12:07pm

You're right--none of us were

Posted in Did Mark Zuckerberg Pay $10 Million to Move to the Mission?

02/04/2013 - 5:30pm

WOW, objectify women and

Posted in Badass Freedom Van Owner Actually Sleazy Pick-Up Artist That Harasses Women On OkCupid

02/01/2013 - 10:14am

In case you were confused, I

Posted in Frontierism 2.0

01/31/2013 - 5:48am

His stuff has been around

Posted in On the Origin of Fist-Bumping

01/30/2013 - 7:54am

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