I don't think before I type's Comments

There's no details on this spot, the menu, opening date or anything like that; only that the new owners intend on calling the place White Bread BBQ.  At least, that's according to this generally unexciting alcohol notice distributed to neighbors:

Presumably, the food will be bland and boring and lack nutrients and foodies will love it.

Presumably.

After all those grueling 'community meetings' we suffered through last year about what the future of Dolores Park would look like, the final 3D renderings of the project were approved by the Arts Commission yesterday.  And here it is:

The pathway up from the 18th and Church Muni stop, with the bike polo court and bathroom to the left.

Another view of the bike polo court/bathrooms, looking towards the Castro.

The bike polo court and bathrooms, from Google Earth's point of view.

The underground bathroom up by the playground.

The new handicap-accessible 19th Street entrance.

And the new 20th and Church plaza with more benches and less trees.

No real surprises here; everything looks like the way it was mapped out back in November and we still have until October to enjoy the park as-is before the city brings in the construction crew and tear the place up for 16 months.

And should you want to dive into the plans a little more for whatever reason, the full plan that was presented to the Arts Commission yesterday is up on the renovation website [PDF warning].

[h/t Mission Local]

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Final Community-Driven Dolores Park Renovation Plan Unveiled
• Dolores Park Poised for Big Changes
• Introducing Dolores Park's Giant Concrete Phallus of Injustice

Against my better judgement, I went to Valencia's bougie taco and margarita upstart Tacolicious/Mosto the other night. Mistake!

My friends and I arrived at 7pm and were informed it would be about a 35 to 45 minute wait for a table, which seemed a little high for a slow weekday night.  But they have a bar/holding cell attached to the restaurant, so we figured we'd guzzle some drinks and stand out like a group of broke hipsters in a room full of beautiful people in sports coats.

The initial conversation at the bar went something like this:

"How much for a house margarita?"

"Eleven bucks."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh do you have something for a guy who clearly can't afford a haircut?"

"Tecates are three."

"Sick brah."

Then a Tecate in a wine glass was put in front of my face.  Took one sip.  It was skunked.

Now, I think I've only had Tecate from anything besides an aluminum can once, so I assumed that was how cheap beer in a wine glass was supposed to taste.  But it was awful.  I could feel the muscles in my face wrenching with every sip.  So after conferring on the taste of this atrocity in a glass with my Mission compatriots, I did the unthinkable: I sent the drink back to the bar.

The bartender was apologetic and poured a new Tecate in a pint glass, and the manager even came over to make make reparations in the form of a complimentary margarita.  The margarita sure was tasty, but the new Tecate was just as shitty as the first one.  But not being one for spit in my food, I foraged for a handful of limes at the bar and drank it anyway.

Now, after a couple more drinks, we realized it was already eight fucking thirty.  For those of you who aren't good at math, that means our 35 to 45 minute wait had been crawling along for 90 minutes.  As we were heading out the door to go to Cancun to drink fresh Budweiser and eat tacos like normal people, the hostess grabbed us and let us know our table was ready.

I won't bore you with the details of my admittedly tasty food, but let it suffice to say that I paid $13 for two tacos and complimentary chips and salsa.

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Forthcoming Valencia Street Tacolicious Location Unveils Coming Soon Signage

The Pickleback, as seen in its native habitat at the Bushwick Country Club.

You've heard of picklebacks, right? A shot of whiskey immediately followed by a shot of pickle juice.  It sounds nasty.  Oh so nasty.  Hell, some people can barely keep their faces from contorting into an unsightly mess after the pairing:

But it's really not that bad.  Wikipedia claims "the pickle brine works to neutralize both the taste of the whiskey and the burn of the alcohol."  Which, sure, sounds possible.  But as someone who thoroughly enjoys the taste of pickles and puts up with the taste of well whiskey, I can assure you the combo just works.

What's the point of all this, you ask?  Well, Broke-Ass Stuart, whose been tending bar at 16th and Harrison newcomer Dear Mom, is bringing the pickleback to the Mission this and every Wednesday night:

I'm bringing an East Coast classic to the Mission: The Pickle Back!  It's a shot of whiskey with a shot of pickle juice as a chaser.  I'm doing it with Dickle Whiskey, so it's gonna be Dickel and a pickle back for $4.  Plus the best part is that it's gourmet pickle juice: I'm getting my pickle juice from the guys who do the Wise Sons food truck and will be soon doing the Wise Sons deli on 24th St.

Do yourself a favor and give this a try.  Just, please, never wear this hat while slamming them back.

[First photo by Muppitz, Second by Trecarious]