I don't think before I type's Posts

via Condomania

According to a recently published study by Condomania.com, San Franciscan men rank 8th in the country in the largest database of penis sizes on the planet.  Condomania.com confirms what us San Franciscans alsways knew: LA has smaller dicks and bigger egos, New Orleans aint called the "Big Easy" for nothin', and D.C. has boosted its penis sized ranking to #2 since Bush left the White House and Obama stepped into office.

Other interesting facts published by Condomania:

• Top Ranking State by Average Penis Size: New Hampshire
• Lowest Ranking State by Average Penis Size: Wyoming
• Top Ranking U.S. City by Average Penis Size: New Orleans
• Second Highest Ranking City (Just behind N.O.): Washington, D.C.
• Lowest Ranking City by Average Penis Size: Dallas/Ft. Worth
• Blue States vs. Red States: Blue States' Average Penis Size is Bigger!

Formerly the largest survey of male penis size in the U.S. was performed by Kinsey researchers way back in 1948, so Condomania's 10x larger updated database finally gives us a more accurate look at the dicks we're dealing with.

[via LAist]

image via beausefus

I love it when artists take the banal and mundane things of our everyday exsistance and transform them into something beautiful and surprising. Take this Muni collage art for example that Etsy user beausefus created after collecting Muni transfers since early 2003. Do you see Golden Gate Park in there? Pretty impressive usage of something that I usually crumble up and throw into my purse.

$225 gets you something a whole lot prettier than what you'll actually encounter after riding Muni for 8 long years.

[via Muni Diaries]

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Found: Janet Jackson on Muni Metro
• MUNI HULK SPEAKS OUT

Lifted from Almost Makes Sense

As we are all fully aware by now, SFgate is pretty much the cutting edge news source for anything big in the hipster community.  That's why unsurprisingly, they are the first ones to announce the next hipster craze: homegrown cigarettes.  From a breaking New York Times story that Brooklyn exsists about homegrown tobacco plants in Brooklyn, the Chronicle predicts that soon, San Francisco's American Spirit hipster smoking population will turn to growing our very own tobacco plants, under the guise of "rebelling against mainstream values."  

Those whacky hipsters will do anything to be green and cutting edge! Actually, if you read the process that the retired police officer from Brooklyn (read: not a hipster, despite her rad flannel) uses to harvest her tobacco, you'd realize the process is long and tedious, much like dying of lung cancer:

She has to plant virtually microscopic seeds in trays indoors and then, weeks later, transplant them to buckets outside.  She waters the plants daily until they grow to be about five feet tall, with big leaves that droop from the stem.  "Like elephant ears," Ms. Silk said of the leaves.  "That's why when people joke around and say, 'They're going to think you're growing pot,' I'm like: 'I'm sorry. There's no one mistaking this for pot."

So, should NIMBYs get worried that giant elephant tobacco leaves are going to start taking over our community gardens?  I doubt it, there's way too much work involved to slowly kill yourself with these.

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Cigarettes Kill (Sorry Rodent)

OldSkull City by Jimmy Tan

Not really sure if this is even San Francisco architecture, but I've been squinting at Potrero Hill all day trying to see a skull...

• $25 gets you a print here.
• $20 for a shirt here!