I don't think before I type's Posts
A friend noticed a bunch of these flyers hung up around the Financial District this week.
So calling on all of my professional experience as a member of the Cyber Police, I successfully backtraced it to one Steve Dukes (via Googling the phone number.) Steve's list off accomplishments don't end with local legends Third Eye Blind. On one of his many personal websites, Steve first and foremost wants to make it absolutely clear that he "was John Cage's last student." The brilliance continues over at SteveDukes.us, which boasts that he's "THE BEST GUITAR TEACHER, OR YOUR MONEY BACK", and has a fantastic list of super official out-of-context endorsements and quotes, such as gems like:
- “I like your rhythm.” Frank Zappa.
- “You are THE MAN.” Barry Zito, Oakland A’s starting pitcher and Cy Young award winner.
- “Nice... nice.” Jazz virtuoso Joe Pass regarding Steve’s playing, after performing with Steve live at the Great American Music Hall, San Francisco.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
SPACE PYRAMIDS! CELESTIAL ANDROGYNY! FOAMING AT THE MOUTH! CAMEL-TOE PRAYERS! Clintongore’s video for “I Need A Star” has all that, on top of insanely square synth tones, a face-melting guitar solo and one of Uptown's own (Sierra Frost) lip-synching awkwardly into the camera. Also, boobs. There are some boobs in there, so yeah...NSFW.
Shameless plug for one of our friend’s projects? Yeah, but I’d still really like this song, and this video, even if I didn’t like Sierra.
Clintongore are performing at Bottom of the Hill on Sunday, a rare performance as the two-piece (w/ Chris Crawford formerly of French Miami) is usually based in Brooklyn.
Download their record for free on Bandcamp. http://clintongore.bandcamp.com/
Gentrification Wars Update! The Battle for Western Addition continues!
Following news concerning the inevitable fall of Da Pitt, the NOPA flag of gentrification was hoisted victoriously over Divisadero and the forces of wealth have lost no time continuing their march into the surrounding microhoods of Western Addition. Through the subterfuge of their [Real Estate] agents, they've already begun to sow the seeds of a well funded insurgency in the nearby neighborhood of Anza Vista (the area around the Kaiser Hospital, sandwiched up against Divisadero, between Geary and Turk,) by renaming it something a little more trendy and wealth friendly - "North of NOPA".
This signifies a major coup among the gentrifiers and real estate agents themselves, who only last year were peddling the Anza Vista name as a 'nice alternative' to the grit of the Western Addition mantle. But hey, 'NOPA's hot, so why not just rename Anza Vista "North of NOPA", ie: North of North of the Panhandle.
Can't wait until they rename the Panhandle 'South of the North of the Panhandle'. Fucking idiots.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Just over a month after Bi-Rite Divisadero opened it's tiny, velvet roped doors and pay-by-the-hour parking service, neighborhood BBQ staple Da Pitt has been served an eviction notice. The full rebranding of the Divisadero strip from "Western Addition" to "NOPA" is hereby complete. Haighteration has the scoop on the eviction. Get it while you still can.
Ordinary Weirdos appears to be San Francisco's very own version of "You're On Candid Camera" meets an Art School exercise in voyeuristic banality (BAM! FILM SCHOOL! GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH MOM AND DAD.)
The first Ordinary Weirdos video I saw featured a pair of transients smoking and drinking outside a McDonald’s, and I was concerned that the whole thing was going to be some sort of class-tourism video-expedition-into-poverty for the sake of “art”. But the next few videos that I watched, featuring a surfer changing out of a wetsuit behind his Corvette and a woman with a well-endowed posterior posing for wedding party photos, assured me that Ordinary Weirdos was voyeuristic simply for the oddly compelling creep factor alone. There’s something soothing about the stillness of these videos that appeals to the lurker in us all. Or at least just in me.
Spotted, and narrowly avoided, on Saturday around Valencia and 19th. It smelled even worse than it looked.
Bernalwood just broke a story that's sure to be 'big news' for Bay Area crazies.
But, really, it’s true! Bigfoot WAS spotted today on Bernal Hill, and Neighbor Frank was there with a camera to capture the wild beast on camera.
...Neighbor Frank writes:
My wife and I were walking around the top of the hill just before noon today and spotted Bigfoot, or something like that, running up the hill near the top of Rosenkranz Street.
We thought that maybe Bernalwood was Bigfoot’s new habitat, but in the heat, Bigfoot removed his head and looked more like a person in a costume, surrounded by two photographers.
This is either an awesome prank with a homemade ghillie suit, or 'Neighbor Frank' stumbled upon the principle photography for a Zodiac re-boot about a disgruntled Marine Corps sniper who finds out the prolific serial killer was his biological father.
Bernalwood post: "BIGFOOT SIGHTING ON BERNAL HILL!! (FINALLY!!)"
As a kid born in the mid eighties, 90s music videos hold a very special place in my heart. But none of the San Francisco-centric videos we seen on Uptown this week can stand up to this juggernaut - Huey Lewis and the News' 1983 hit 'I Want a New Drug'. Otherwise known as "that song they ripped off in Ghostbusters", the quasi-local Huey Lewis and the News produced a San Francisco-centric video that still resonates with the lives of many residents today.