I don't think before I type's Comments

I found myself parked in the middle of some 1950s-era Southern bar in Midtown Manhattan yesterday.  It was kitschy, with all its barnyard, trailer park, squeaky screen door decor, but it was nice.  And as I sat there, sucking down a $6 Miller High Life wondering how the fuck creative types could ever put up with such an exorbitant town, I couldn't help but to also ponder as to why the Mission doesn't have more goofy thematic establishments within its bounds.

Well, wonder no more: West of Pecos is opening tomorrow in the former Bombay Bazaar space on Valencia.  Now, Pecos doesn't exactly look like it will become anyone's regular haunt, and it could be closer to those areyoufuckingkiddingme? Manhattan prices we've seen so much on Valencia lately.  But, goddamn, it sure does look nice inside.

From Eater, who snapped the above photos:

At this point, the remnants of the former Bombay Bazar—three gaping skylights and original 1907 wood floors—have now been filled in with items salvaged in the Santa Fe area. A 100-year-old tobacco barn has been turned into a bar top and tables. Heavy reclaimed doors have been touched up with natural turquoise and brick red tones. Tin lines the bars, and round wrought iron chandeliers hang from the ceilings. It's all very rustic, and wooden with lots of Southwestern flair.

And the food?  Well, the menu is not up yet, but they are saying it will be lots of Santa Fe and Texan dishes of meats and veggies and some BBQ.

[Photos and More Info on Eater]

After 'terrorizing' a two block radius around 19th and Guerrero for the last few months, the nameless, character-driven graffiti artist (whose work has been celebrated multiple times on this very blog, as well as SFist) was busted by SFPD.  And how?  Because dude skipped freshman orientation over at Krylon Kollege and never got the message that you don't do this shit in the middle of the day, especially around the likes of Dolores Park.

Anyway, I'm not one to snitch on a guy for spraying a little birdie and bunny on a wall, but the video by neighbor "SF Mission Protector" is of such low quality that you could never make out the details of the dude's face.  So crank up that N.W.A. record, pop some popcorn, and give this 10 minute vid a skim:

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Dolores Park Already Spoken For
• Big Dreams Bird

SF Lowrider documentary that you can watch on IMDB (don't ask me why they don't allow embedding so just click the image, it's only like 25 minutes long anyways nevermind found it on youtube). A bunch of footage from the 70's and 80's about what car culture in this city use to be like. Something this town has traded for bullshit like standing in lines for mediocre brunch and soggy cups of dirty water and liquor that taste like old trees. Car Culture in the bay is shitty in general, stuck hanging on the fringe. Do kids even get drivers licenses in this town before they are 30? Even if it's some dumb shit like wings on a front wheel drive, primered out everything, rattling plates, or even rainbow tint. It would be better than nothing. Whatever, it's not like I'm copping triple gold d's anytime soon either but I put in my time at lowrider shows. Yes I was in a lowrider bike club, spent years collecting issues of all kinds of mags, sported atzlan tshirts and all that. Even when I was driving around in a crx with a b18 I still had a soft spot in my heart for a dumped caprice with 4 15's in  the trunk.

Parts 2 & 3:

Cutty Bang and Irish Coffee: they're two of San Francisco's better-known contributions to the world of "mixology."  One, the renowned coffee, cream, and whiskey drink that you can pretty much order at any bar you walk into. The other, a bunch of mini bottles of liquor tossed into a shitty cup with some chaser sold out of some of San Francisco's less reputable corner stores.

As you can imagine, quite unlike the ubiquity of the standard-bearer of morning cocktails, Cutty Bang is rather difficult to track down (and has generally required leaving the Mission).  There's Charlie's Pharmacy in The Fillmore, but they stopped selling Cutty Bang in cup-form to avoid harassment from the cops and deter copycats from selling the drink.  The same is true of Bayview Liquors, where the 'cocktail' originated.  As far as the Mission has been concerned, there's a spot on 24th and Folsom, but you often need to assemble the ingredients yourself--a painful process in the wee hours of the morning.

Luckily, it seems that the disappointing hunt associated with Cutty Bang has finally come to an end.  Do Vulcan Tits Defy Logic? found himself in George's Market on 24th and Shotwell last night and by chance discovered they sell a variation of Cutty Bang (pictured above) called "High Speed":

i did an informal interview of the dudes buying the cutty bang last night. it was roughly 1:55am, and it went something like this:

me: holy fuck. is that cutty bang?!
dude buying the cutty bang: fuck yeah. cutty bang.
me: fucking awesome.
dbtcb: you ever had ‘high speed’?
me: nah. it’s $11 bucks, right? fuck that.
dbtcb: yeah $11. but it’s worth $22.
me: hmm…
dbtcb: have some high speed.
me: nah.
dbtcb: have some high speed.
me: nah dude, thanks though.
dbtcb: HAVE SOME FUCKING HIGH SPEED. [and yes, this was slightly threatening]
me: well fucking eh. [proceed to pound high speed] holy shit.
dbtcb: fuck yeah. HIGH SPEED.

And what exactly is High Speed? "A styrofoam cup with ice in it. 4 loko, red bull, vodka, gin, rum, and whateverthefuckelse. awesome."

If for some bizarre reason you're scratching your head as to what is the allure of a 11 buck styrofoam cup with a sugary hangover in it, go read Serg's breakdown of Cutty Bang in SF right now:

Do you like drinking? Do you like getting buck? Do you even know what getting buck entails? Whatever though, the point is that for years San Francisco liquor stores have been satisfying the needs of neighborhoods by combining rap music sensibilities and liquor. As far as I know it all starts with the Cutty Bang, the classic of all these corner store hook ups. What is a cutty bang? Well if you find yourself on 3rd and Newcomb you might realize that there isn't exactly a vast array of night life choices. You've got to find a way to entertain yourself and having a liquor store that sells tiny bottles of alcohol can only lead to brilliance. Well someone took some bottles of Seagrams, Bicardi, Tanqueray, an 8oz can of Dole Pineapple juice, and dumped that shit into a cup. No one seems to know the name of this legendary pioneer in "mixology" but the drink was immortalized by Tay Da Tay and later KNT. 

There are a grip of these drinks; the names and ingredients seem to change according to where you cop. The most consistent drink by far is the Cutty Bang. There are other drinks though like the What It Do, The Big Unk, The Killa Hoe, Getting Hyphy, the Money Maker, Walk It Out, Do You Like It Raw, Tupac, The Obama, Kobe, Casper, Trible B's, Wipe Me Down, and so on. For the most part the formula is simple, take 3 or 4 different kinds of alcohol, throw in some kind of chaser then just give it some kind of rap related name and boom you're fucking done. But as far the drinks go the cutty bang is my drink of choice, that shit might look maney but it's fucking good. [Read on]

[DVTDL?]

Previously on Uptown Almanac

• Listen Bitch, I'm going to put you up on some fucking game right now.