The Roxie

Reminder: Stand-Up Comedy and Hella Pabst Tomorrow Night (Tuesday!) At the Roxie!

Eight on the Bay Area's best comics and 700+ complimentary cans of PBR's best PBR are on tap for tomorrow night.  And if you don't have your tickets yet, they are still available on the Roxie's site, or you can buy 'em at the door.

See you there!

Stand-up Comedy and Bottomless PBR Returns to the Roxie Next Tuesday!

After two slammin' comedy parties at The Roxie last summer, we all thought it would be a good idea to bring back the Locally-Source Pop-Up Comedy Night back to the Roxie for a third round.  And that's exactly what we're doing.  8 of our favorite local comics and 8,640 ounces of cold beer kindly furnished by Pabst Blue Ribbon.

In summary:
Tuesday, June 12th at 8:45 @ The Roxie [3117 16th Street and Valencia]
Tickets [$6.50] are on sale right now (you can try to win a pair over at FunCheap)
GETTING FUCKING DRUNK INCLUDED IN YOUR TICKET PRICE
Here's who'll be up on stage:

  • Joey Devine (Finalist at the Bay Area Laugh Leader Competition, Pandora's “comedy analyst,” self-described heartthrob)
  • Jesse Elias (The Smug Shift, SF Sketchfest, Bridgetown Comedy Festival, member of Everything Jamboree)
  • David Gborie (Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Noise Pop, Indie Fest, SF Punchline)
  • Casey Ley (Bridgetown Comedy Festival, former host of “The Morning Show” on Pirate Cat)
  • Jules Posner (Jokes.com’s No Drink Minimum, SF Sketchfest)
  • Bucky Sinister (Member of “The Business” at The Dark Room, Litquake, The Rumpus's “Warm Bodies, Cold Nights”)
  • Dave Thomason (Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival, SF Sketchfest, NPR’s “Snap Judgment”, Revision3’s “ROFL”, and Noise Pop)

And Sean Keane (member of The Business, past contributor to McSweeney's and ESPN the Magazine, columnist for the East Bay Express) is back to host!

So remember: next Tuesday at The Roxie. There will be comedy. There will be beer.

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Win Tickets to a Movie About German Kids Mainlining Heroin While Listening to David Bowie!

Our friends at The Roxie have a “teen-girls-gone-wild double-feature” going down this Friday, featuring the ultra-low-budget punk flick Desperate Teenage Lovedolls and the mega-uplifting skin-popper Christiane F., whose description follows:

It's the mid-1970s in West Berlin. You're a 14 year old girl living in a depressing high rise with your single mom. You sneak into clubs, listen to a lot of David Bowie and fall in with the wrong crowd. Soon you're hooked on heroin, your boyfriend's a hustler and you're walking the streets to feed your habit. Holy sheisse! Released to critical acclaim and with severe backlash from the West German government, this harrowing tale of youth gone wrong became an international cult classic as well as the standard anti-drug film shown in German schools. Based on actual events, Christiane F. stems from a series of articles published in Stern magazine that featured interviews with the real Christiane F. (Christiane Felscherinow). An early work by directed by Uli Edel (of The Baader Meinhof Complex fame) it offers a down and dirty glimpse into the lives the drug denizens that populated Berlin's Zoo Station at that time and includes a memorable concert scene with David Bowie.

If that sounds like your idea of a fun childhood/Friday night, like the relevant post about this contest on our Facebook page and, on Friday morning, we'll select someone at random to get a pair of complimentary tickets.  Or go ahead and just buy your tickets now.

Take a Knee, Santa; It's Time to Shotgun Some High Life

Should you find the standard holiday soiree too family-friendly, be sure to put The Roxie's annual Christmas boozefest on next year's calendar.  Not only will you delight in rambunctiously cheering and mocking Bruce Willis and Carl Winslow's feats of strength in vaguely Christmas-related flicks like Die Hard, the whole thing is MCed by a wine-guzzling, blunt-smoking, can-crushing Santa Claus.

We can only hope next year's bash involves Bad Santa and a bathtub full of 40s.

Timeless Christmas Classic DIE HARD Returns to the Big Screen (And Win Yourself Some Tickets to See It)

By way of some Christmas miracle, The Roxie has managed to bring everyone's favorite holiday film back to the big screen for one night (This Thursday, 7:30pm).  There will be bullets.  There will be cheeky one-liners.  There will be men with goatees falling out windows (apologies if I ruined the ending).  And, best of all, 21st Amendment has thrown in a hot mess of free beer to funnel down your throat while you heckle a gaggle of greedy Germans.

So here's the deal: you can go buy your tickets now ($10! Hella free beer!) or like this post on Uptown's Facebook page for a chance to win a free pair of tickets to the assuredly wild screening (winner randomly selected Wednesday at noon!).

In the meantime, here's one for the road:

Holidays with The Human Centipede

The Roxie Theater, the Mission's venerable curators of films you want to see, when you want to see them, hits us over the head with a “100% medically accurate” double feature that'll most certainly get you in the holiday spirit:

Literally and figuratively rubbing your face in it, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE series immediately superseded everything else in cinema as The Most Extreme Thing Of All Time Ever. Columnists rallied, bloggers blathered and the public couldn’t get enough of this timeless story of unwitting strangers fused together, ass-to-mouth. Please join us at the Roxie to ring in the holiday season with Tom Six’s epic about two men’s dare to dream. Don’t be embarrassed! We know you want to see what all the fuss is about.

Cancel your other plans and get tix for the feast now.

Uptown Almanac's Locally-Sourced Pop-Up Comedy Night Returns August 30th

Feel free to skip the noise and BUY TICKETS.

The first comedy night was such a success that this mediocre tube of internet drivel has teamed up with The Roxie and Pabst to bring San Francisco another night of local comedy and excessive PBR consumption.  So come out to The Roxie on Tuesday, August 30th at 7pm for hella free Pabst and comedy from seven of our favorite local stand-up comedians:

Tickets are on sale now for $7 and will also be available at the door.  And yes, the first person to show up wearing a Walmart greeter's uniform will receive FREE ENTRY.

CONTEST: Win Tickets to The Roxie's Screening of "Skatetown, U.S.A."

This Friday, our favorite neighborhood theater, The Roxie, 21st Amendment and CellSpace are hosting “the best roller disco movie party of the summer.”  The Roxie will be showing the Scott Baio (just ask anyone born before the Cobain assassination who he is) feature, “Skatetown, U.S.A.,” pouring cheap 21st Amendment beer for the crowd, and then sending everyone over to CellSpace for their infamous roller disco party.

If you're unfamiliar with the film, the trailer says it all: terrible music, a bad haircut on wheels discharging a firearm, a man wearing a top hat with beard covered in cocaine, tits, and Patrick Swayze.  From the trailer's YouTube description:

The third installment in the devil's unholy trilogy of godawful Eighties roller disco flicks meant to destroy mankind's collective sense of good taste once and for all. Naturally, I could not possibly recommend this movie any more highly.

The Roxie adds:

Patrick Swayze’s big screen debut! Two hunks are pitted against one another in a skate competition at a roller disco. At stake? A thousand bucks and a moped. Ninety-eight minutes of non-stop music, roller skating and comedy. According to her autobiography, former Brady Bunch starlet Maureen McCormick fell into severe cocaine addiction on the set of this movie. FREE TUBE SOCKS! BEER!

If you want to take part of this drunken, cocaine-fueled evening for free, tell us your best 4-wheeled, tube sock, or cocaine story in the comments, and if we like it, we'll hook you up with a pair of tickets.  Otherwise, you can go score yourself some tickets for $10 over at the Roxie's website.

Machotaildrop: The Trippiest Skateboarding Movie You'll Ever Watch

If you love drug-induced fantasy and skateboarding as much as I do, make your way to the Roxie Friday night for SF Indiefest's screening of Machotaildrop.  The Willy Wonka-esque film has been summarized by its writer as a “fantastical and farcical journey of a young boy trying to live out his dreams as a professional skateboarder.”  While that sounds nice and all, the film is more of a dark criticism of the skateboard industry that is focused on marketing and profits than the sport itself.  Not that we didn't know that sports industries are fucked already, but this criticism involves horses in mansions and matching shirts.  Besides, the film was written during a 7 day drug binge in a cabin in British Columbia by then-unknown professional dishwasher Corey Adams, so you know it's worth a least a peak.

Grab tickets at SF Indiefest or read the bizarre interview with director Corey Adams over at Fecal Face.

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