lulz

Dolores Park's Weed Truffle Dude Gets Big Spotlight in iOS 6's Maps

We here at Uptown Almanac haven't upgraded to iOS 6 yet because we were told the new maps are garbage, but looks like tech blog tantrums were full of their usual frantic shit because iOS Maps has all the hot tips on where we can get effin' ripped—in 3D.

That's right, “Mission Delores Park's” [sic] infamous Truffle Guy, responsible for making many Marina girls freak out and cry, now has prominent placement in Apple's otherwise inadequate maps app—a necessary feature that the Google Dream Team failed to deliver. UA tipsters Lindsay fills us in on her discovery:

RIDIC. I'm sure it's because, of course, he's on Yelp and that is where the data come from. But still.

Yes. But still.

Happy Thanksgiving, dope fiends!

Fox News Asks: 'Why Does San Francisco Hate Us So Darn Much?'

Sassypants Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly dispatched Jesse Watters to the smut-ridden streets of “Nancy Pelosi stronghold” San Francisco to ask: “Why do people hate 'The Factor'?”  The resulting segment is, perhaps, one of the best pieces of journalism ever produced:

I do have to say, I was quite disappointed with Skater Jesus's resounding praise of Bill after his epic build-up, but let's move past that for a second.

After the duo of tort reformers joked about suing their punchy detractors, they got all perplexed as to why The Haters By The Bay couldn't describe why they were down on their brand of righteous Fair and Balanced journalism.  In their minds, if the freaks within the capital of lefty intelligentsia can't make the case against Fox, the network must be a-okay, right?

But it's curious that they couldn't find a single person capable of calling out the network for pushing a right-wing agenda to such an extent that Comedy Central devotes an entire half-hour show to ridiculing them for it.  Or that Bill says “some people say” every time he wants to inject baseless opinion into the discussion (I saw that Robert Greenwald movie, too).

Maybe it's because they were interviewing people with cats on their shoulders?

Anyway, hope Jesse had a good time visiting SF and belittling trannies!