The Hipsterfication of Mark Zuckerberg

No Cuts For Mark Zuckerberg at Wise Sons

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mark Zuckerberg, the infamous founder of Facebook worth $20 billion (or whatever half of that is), has been waiting in line for brunch at Wise Sons Jewish Delicatessen for the last 30 minutes.  According to Uptown Almanac's Jewish sources, his appearance is underwhelming in the wake of Woody Allen's recent meal at the establishment.  This is only further illustrated by the fact that Woody skipped the line, care of a special reservation the restaurant gave him, whereas Zuckerberg was left to stand in line like a chump.

“I mean, this is no Larry David sighting at Canter's,” one Jewish source noted, “but it'll do.”

Note: as of press time, Mark Zuckerberg was still in line.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Is Mark Zuckerberg Trying to Rebrand Himself as a 'Mission Hipster'?

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

When Mark Zuckerberg started turning up at Mission bars such as El Rio, The Royal Cuckoo, and pseudo-dive bar Dolores Park, we kinda dismissed it because everyone goes to those places.  Then he acquired Instagram, making us scratch our heads just a bit.

But last night, the 35th richest guy in the world was spotted slamming drinks at the notably cheap and filthy dive Phone Booth and making a 2:30am Farolito burrito run.  Which begs the question: was Mark just trying out his billion dollar toy in its native habitat, or is he attempting to rebrand himself as just a regular ol' Mission hipster?

See, he actually drove 45 minutes north from his fancy Palo Alto HQ to hang out at a bar known for its questionable indoor smoking policy and access to shitty last-call coke dealers.  That's not to say we don't like The Phone Booth, because we do.  But to claim the place is a “destination bar” for people coming from out of town is a bit of a stretch.

Unless he was trying to score some blow…

[Photos by PX Anon & Meesha | Thanks for the tips, Jason and Lindsey!]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: