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The Bold Italic Renames "La Lengua"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Due to the distressing lack of microhoods in San Francisco, the pioneering cartographers at The Bold Italic have been dicing up San Francisco's large and unwieldy neighborhoods into smaller, more digestible blocks of hip happenings.  It's led to fashion corridors like Valencia Bottoms, non-lether, asexual drinking along FolSoma, and the “cool but still crappy” Mid Riff—quaint corners of San Francisco previously in a sorta need of some distinctive flag to fly.

This week, the Bold Locals noted they were “never quite sure what to call the strip of Mission south of Cesar Chavez and north of Cortland.”  We always thought it was “La Lengua” (and so did Google Maps, CBS 5, The Examiner, and even Old Bruce over at the Bay Guardian got hip to what all the kids are callin' it these days), but apparently we were wrong.  It's “Bernal Flats”, so don't get it confused.

This revelation makes way more sense anyway—it's near Bernal Heights, but it's flat.  Get it?  Bernal Flats.  Isn't that easier?  Besides, I never saw tongues around the neighborhood, and licking the Mission Street sidewalk sure as shit doesn't taste very good.

(Interesting side note: commenter Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable thinks he accidentially coined this whole “Bernal Flats” confusion two years ago.)

[The Bold Italic]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Beware: Folsom Street Polling Place Not Where Advertised

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you live in the Inner Mission and are supposed to vote at Cesar Chavez Elementary at 22nd and Folsom, you're going to have to do a little hunting to find your polling place.  The Voter Information Pamphlet mailed out a few weeks back says voters in precinct 3907 are supposed to “enter off Folsom btw 22nd and 23rd sts,” the signage outside indicates the same thing, but the fences surrounding the school are all shut and padlocked.  As of half an hour ago, there was no signage or person posted up outside directing people where to go.  There were, however, a half dozen would-be voters looking very lost and confused—many of whom just turned around and left.

After a little searching, it turns out you are supposed to go vote on Shotwell between 22nd and 23rd (none of this information is posted anywhere and there is no official signage out front).  I told the people who handed me my ballot that this was a problem, and they seemed concerned, but a couple entered five minutes later complaining about the same thing.

Perhaps this explains why the electronic vote counter only registered 78 ballots (which is only 39 individual voters) being cast in the first 3+ hours of voting?