— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |
Dearest nerds and pervs, did you know that El Rio has a monthly all-girl lube wrestling competition? No? Okay, well now you do and you should probably put the next one on your calendar.
See, I'm not going to lie guys. I'd like to offer you a subjective, puritanical review of the evening that's free of sexual charge, but I just cannot do it. This event ruled for so many reasons: the rockin' DJ, the jokes from the MC, the lubricated thumb-wrestling contest, wrestlers with names like “Hella Kitty”… even the costumes were off the charts. But, at the end of the day, this lube wrestling match is a must-attend for a reason I'm sure we're all familiar with: titties. I mean, who doesn't like titties? Seriously people. Girls love titties. Guys definitely love titties. The internet loves titties. Titties titties titties.
That's not to say the party was all lube and boobs—quite the contrary. There were venerable athletes getting into the mix, some of which looked like they could bench press a bus with one arm. And the looks of horror from the front row as they got whipped in the face with a lube-drenched ponytails was simply priceless.
However, the event was not without its drawbacks; namely, the rows of creepy lurkers in the back (of which I was a part of, naturally). Sadly, I was not allowed to take a photo to show you what the crowd looked like, and the idea of getting thrown out of a lube wrestling competition in a lesbian bar was a certifiable pervy rock bottom from which my pride and dignity would never recover. But the back four or five rows were packed with whack dudes in backwards baseball caps grinning like virgins. And then there was that 40-year-old couple making out a little too hard, which grossed me the fuck out but, from the looks of it, almost caused the guy to my right to pull out his dick right there and give himself a fistful of blisters.
Did I mention titties?
Anyway, if you RSVP with Red Hots Burlesque (who aids in putting on the show) ahead of time, you can reserve yourself a seat in the front, lube-soaked, pervert-free rows. So do that.
Go Deep! goes down on the first Thursday of every month at 9pm. $15 cover, but all the money goes to the performers.
Comments (8)
El Rio is a great place. I personally think of it as a queer bar, rather than as a strictly lesbian bar. Case in point: there’s also a guy-on-guy version of Go Deep that happens at El Rio.
Hopefully this blog post boosts the attendance at both events among those who are actually there to have fun instead of just lurking pervs.
maybe I’m just dense, but I’ve always just thought of El Rio as a bar that has a great patio….
I find it interesting how this entry juxtaposes with your take on the Mr. Mission contest.
http://uptownalmanac.com/2012/04/obnoxious-mr-mission-contest-crown-douc…
Lee
I’m trying to figure out if during all the chaos of the old theme, a new theme emerged?
I think it did.
El Rio used to be a lesbian bar, but times have changed and so has the neighborhood. It continues to have lesbian-centric events but it hasn’t been an exclusively lesbian bar in well over a decade.
oh look - i must’ve really gotten under kev-kev and j-jizz’s foreskins….they’re censoring my comments again.
gnarlz!
I got banned from Candlestick once.
We’re back!
Red Hots Burlesque PresentsGo Deep: Let’s WrestleMarch 20th ThursdaySign ups & Burlesque 9pm Wrestling Begins at 10pm |supperCLUB 657 Harrison st |The moment you’ve all been waiting for, Red Hots Burlesque SF’s Best Bump and Grind is back with a bigger space, sensational sight lines and the most insane ALL GIRL MONTHLY LUBE WRESTLING PARTY. You can come and watch or be a part of the action. This is a QUEER space and we are offering lots of free tickets to our favorite queers. Get in touch and find out how you can get in on the action!PHOTOS and VIDEO NOT PERMITTED!Sign-ups done through RedHotsBurlesque@gmail.com and night of event.LUBE WRESTLING!Celebrity wrestlers from:Maybe you?! Past celebs have been from Team in Training, Sisters of Honk, The Lusty Lady San Francisco, Thrillpeddlers, Glama-Rama Salon and MORE!Think your group, organization, business, sports team ect can take on our celebrities? email redhotsburlesque@gmail.com and sign up to wrestlePERFORMANCES FROM:Rubenesque Burlesque Shredder Hoops!The Ring Masters: Barbary Doll, Valhalla Voom, Spice Rack, Boston Honey, Blackie St. Patrick and Bobby BarnabyHostesses Dottie LuxDJ- Ruby White spins bubble gum, garage rock, girl groups and moreSPONSORED PRIZED FROM Dollhouse Bettie, Bacon, Babes & Bingo,Supperclub SF and MORE!”See, I’m not going to lie guys. I’d like to offer you a subjective, puritanical review of the evening that’s free of sexual charge, but I just cannot do it. This event ruled for so many reasons: the rockin’ DJ, the jokes from the MC, the lubricated thumb-wrestling contest, wrestlers with names like “Hella Kitty”… even the costumes were off the charts.” Kevin Montgomery, Uptown Almanac ”Yes, this seems like a trick, but Go Deep! is a real event, produced by the lovely Dottie Lux of Red Hot Burlesque.” Amber Schadewald SFBGFAQ:Does queer space mean that my straight man friend can’t come? If they are entering as a cis gendered straight man they need to know they are entering OUR space (they have the whole rest of the world) and they should act with respect.Can I take pictures? PHOTOS and VIDEO NOT PERMITTED!Can I take video? PHOTOS and VIDEO NOT PERMITTED!But what if it’s my friend? PHOTOS and VIDEO NOT PERMITTED!No really she said it was okay! PHOTOS and VIDEO NOT PERMITTED!You suck! Yes we do! But it’s important we keep our wrestlers safe and acting with consent. Don’t worry we hire a photographer to make sure there are photosSupperclub, will there be food? Yes! Come hungry.Can I decide to wrestle night of? Yes! We will have a staff on hand arranging matches. We pair like with like to strive for fun well matched games. What should I wear? We recommend shopping at Dollhouse Bettie, lustdesigns.com or Retro Fit bathing suits, onesies or anything you don’t mind getting wet.Will what I wear get wet? YES! IT’S LUBE! we have a shower you bring a change of clothes. Any other questions? Post here or email RedHotsBurlesque@gmail.com