Whimsical Bullshit

Monday Night Fun

Kelly Kate hips us to a wholesome way to spend your Mondays:

Guess what bitch? It’s Monday. Time to roll down Mission Street blasting Diplo x Lil Jon Dubstep mixes while firing two tasers out the window as you pass the haters you almost got in a fight with milling around outside Beauty Bar post Krazy Mondays.

Welcome to San Francisco, bitch.

Damn, that looks way better than my usual Monday night activities of washing dishes and watching Glee reruns.

Cingular Wireless Returns, Re-Launches In SF This Week.

With San Franciscans long dissatisfied by AT&T's lack of service, the recently resurrected Cingular Wireless saw an opening to take a prime piece of the cellular market at launch. Cingular celebrated their recent return with the purchase of two antennas adjacent to Sutro Tower, which they christened with an eye catching marketing stunt.

A giant version of their iconic orange logo is being displayed on Twin Peaks this week to let San Francisco know that Cingular is back in the game!  Next week they're expected to announce that they will soon be the exclusive carrier of the iPhone 3G and Nokia N97 smartphone.  

 

 

…Or, it's a misshapen, slightly off-color AIDS ribbon.

Hipster Animals

Q: What kind of animal best represents a hipster?

A: It depends. What type of hipster are you talking about?

 

The Hipster Animals blog by Dyna Moe is a treasure trove of hipster stereotypes embodied by animals.  If you've ever wondered what type of animal best represents a trust-fund asshole or a full time Etsy craftperson, this Tumblr blog is updated regularly with such information.  Each post is accompanied by adorable mid-20th century style illustrations that will certainly remind you of a time in your life before you wore aviator sunglasses and had an intentionally ugly haircut.

 

 

Oh, and in case you were wondering why I'm posting here instead of at my own blog, the board of directors here at Uptown Almanac brought me in as a guest contributor to fill the void left by rapture victim KevMo. I'll be here until Mr. Montgomery gets kicked out of hell for drinking an eternity's worth of cheap, low quality beer.

Hipsters Making Fun of Hipsters

This is the most recent effort from NYC-based sketch comedy group Harvard Sailing Team, who you may remember from last summer's viral hit Boys Will Be Girls. Their latest video is a play on all things hipster, a subculture I'm sure they would claim not to be a part of in any way whatsoever. My favorite part is the guy working on the bike with the floral hammer. What is he doing with that thing anyway, hammering his spokes out of shape?

Love, Mission Style

You know, when I started reading Jake's tweet, I figured it was going to end with a terrible story of kidnapping and murder, but that's just adorable.

[Link]

Living in SF Means You Have a Crush on the Girl at Tartine and Want to Move to The Sunset

Two of our favorite internet people, Broke-Ass Stuart and Wendy MacNaughton, have teamed up over at The Bold Italic to bring us a bang up piece on what Living in SF Means:

Living in San Francisco means continually dealing with impermanence.

It means having places you love close up forever. It means having friends get married and move to Oakland. Friends who leave to join the Peace Corps. Friends who go to rehab. Friends who lose their minds. Friends who move back to wherever the fuck they’re from. Friends who OD and never move again. It means dreading the inevitable earthquake that will ultimately wash this city into the sea.

Read the whole thing to find out about our professional lives, experience with noisy neighbors, getting sunburns on our collective cankles, and why we love reading essays like this.

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