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Jazz Hands #throughglass

Video Emerges of Google Glass "Assault," Proving Google Glass is Completely Useless

Yesterday’s big “anti-tech hate crime” hullabaloo is quickly coming to a close, as eyewitness accounts of the alleged “assault” at Molotov’s cast serious doubt on “I Love Social Media, Inc.” founder Sarah Slocum’s story.  Now she’s released video of the incident, which she insinuates is proof of the attack.

Her description of the video:

This is the first video that I got on Google Glass at Molotov bar on Haight Street after being verbally accosted and flicked off by the Asian looking girl, I turned on the video, and after I told them I was doing so they got pissed off and came after me. Unfortunately, I had not extended the video so it cuts out after 10 seconds. Here you can see them - two people, a male and a female - trying to block the camera. The guy waving his hands in my face here later rips the Google Glasses off my face and ran out of the bar. #throughglass

Of course, the video is only 9 seconds long—and proves absolutely nothing.  But alas, there it is.

UA tipster Jeff Cleary put it best: “As this video clearly shows, Google Glass is completely useless.”  Amen.

Let Them Eat Apps

Facebook Investor Says Site Really Takes the Edge Off Global Capitalism

Look, Silicon Valley, if you don’t want to be seen as entitled shitheels with a severe empathy defficiency, don’t let arch-libertarian and critic of women’s suffrage Peter Thiel off the Seastead, not even to talk to Forbes“I think generally there’s a trend toward equality in the sense that everyone has access to Facebook and Dropbox and LinkedIn and all these services.” He went on to argue that the depression in wages due to globalization is the real problem, not technology. I’d like to propose we’re getting fucked both ways at the same time.

Speaking of games that aren’t zero-sum: Pretty sure we can make fun of bros for their questionable fashion sense and their terrible ideas simultaneously as well. It’s called multitasking.

Thiel also had high praise for WhatsApp co-founder and likely billionaire Jan Koum for “heroically” escaping the “welfare trap,” which Forbes detailed in “The Rags-To-Riches Tale Of How Jan Koum Built WhatsApp Into Facebook’s New $19 Billion Baby.” Would you like another anecdote that’s not actually indicative of aggregate social mobility trends? Okay, how about Marc Roth, a formerly homeless man who found work with skills learned at TechShop, where “I was thinking this is where I’m going to sit and send out resumes and have coffee and warmth.” All due respect to TechShop, Marc Roth and, for that matter, Jan Koum—I’ve been as close to homeless as no one wants to be; I have relied on city, state and federal social programs; it is pretty shitty and you can’t fault anyone for wanting to escape—but a few blocks away the DPW is reportedly hosing people down again and the San Francisco Public Library considers increasing the penalty for having a “strong oder” at Mayor Ed Lee’s request.

So naturally it makes perfect sense that Greg Gopman is considering a run for political office.

Photos by David Orban and Flickr user The Pageman

Something Kewl 4 Nest

Google Is Not Moving to the Mission (Not That It Matters)

The internet has been ablaze with grievances over the news that Google is opening a 200-person office at 16th and Harrison (or, as one tipster pointed out, “look on the bright side, they’ll be right next to Dear Mom”).  The new building was reportedly purchased as “something cool” for Google’s new acquisitions, prompting SFist to declare “The Mission is over.”

But fortunately for the Mission’s alt relevance, SocketSite has confirmed that “Google has not signed a lease nor purchased the building.”

In fact, the building at 298 Alabama is currently undergoing renovations with plans to subdivide the space for multiple tenants. And while numerous parties have expressed interest, not a single lease has been signed nor negotiated, not by Google nor by any of their acquisitions.

However, does any of this really matter? While having The Face of Everything Wrong With Silicon Valley out of the neighborhood ostensibly seems like a good thing, it doesn’t change the fact tech firms are creeping beyond SOMA.  HTC was found to be expanding onto York St. two weeks ago, a sales CRM startup moved into the space that Million Fishes Arts Collective was evicted from last fall, and well-funded startups move into warehouse spaces all the time.

If people are concerned about the corporate homogenization of the Mission, they have to realize Google is just riding a trend.

Ridiculous Tech Terrarium Seeks Broke Beauties to Star in Lifestyle Brand Vid

NEMA is a lifestyle brand masquerading as an apartment complex.  Conveniently situated beside Twitter and Square HQs, the brand's terrarium of innovation is plastered in fauxghtleader slogans like “tech savvy, not shabby,” “innovate, don't imitate,” and “amenities, not enemies.”

But NEMA—a visionary neologism for “New Market”—knows not to throw up some glorified motivational posters and call it a killer launch.  NEMA has been rolling out a series of lifestyle videos of what it means to be “NEMA.”  The first attempt, embedded above, is enough to make vomit crawl up the throat of a normal human, but plays well to people who maintain Instagram accounts consisting of small dog and cupcake photos.

Now NEMA is “casting lifestyle models for a promotional video shoot for a San Francisco luxury high rise building,” and they have specific demands as to what it takes to look the part:

(Lead) upscale, classy, chic, sexy, urban, stylish and clean; classic look, no visible tattoos or piercings; will bring about 3 changes of wardrobe in neutral and warm colors (beige, taupe, brown, sagey green or blue or black and white); think Banana Republic or JCrew (with maybe a bit of higher fashion); chilly, so sweaters, leather jackets, suede, cool shoes all welcome. Note: Women will be required to do their own hair and makeup.

Models, you need to look like you live full time in a 4 star luxury resort-like high-rise.
We will create scenes in which you will be walking through a lobby, speaking with a concierge, talking on a cell phone, interacting with an iPad or laptop, laughing and talking with a friend, reading a newspaper, sipping coffee, riding an elevator, playing billiards, working out in gym, sitting by fire pit, (one of you) diving into pool.

The gig pays $50 a day, getting you well on your way to affording the $2,300 starting price for a studio.

[via The Tens, via SFist Comments]

Mat Stromberg's Latest Mural, Featuring Ants Fighting to the Death

Mat Stromberg's latest in Clarion Alley has it all: blue ants and red ants fighting over some human prey, a guy watching his iPhone get ripped out of his balmy, dying hands, and a nice gloomy mountain vista.  And what is that ant-covered bespectacled bastard thinking about anyway?

Take in the full-size image (or go to Clarion Alley to see it IRL).

Claims of Sexism and Sexual Assault Plague Noisebridge Hackerspace

Since Noisebridge opened its doors in 2008, it quickly became not just a place to build robots or meddle with security systems, but a DIY community center in its own right.  Today it plays host to everything from LitQuake events to vegan cooking lessons, thanks in large part to its anarchist structure and open access policy.

But Noisebridge's one rule—“Be excellent to one another”—is the kind of toothless techno-libertarian feel-good sloganeering that does little to protect the community.  As Noisebridge member Hannah Grimm details, harassment is common and never criticized:

I've been spending time at Noisebridge for the last year, and in that time, I've been harassed by multiple people on many different occasions, almost always with members present.  Never once has a member intervened or spoken up on my behalf: not when Weev called me a cunt or made anti-semitic, anti-mormon, anti-woman, anti-gay jokes loudly in the space, not when someone loudly (and descriptively) told me about the “sluts” they double-penetrated the night before, not when an individual (upon seeing me about to leave the space on my Powerisers) declared “I love your stilts.  I'm going to make you my bride and then those will be mine” before slapping my ass as I was leaving just a few weeks ago.  The closest thing I have felt to supported in the space was when one individual decided to doocratically paint over the bathroom wall, which at the time was covered in images of maimed and broken crying women with enormous tits and waists so thin they would make Barbie jealous.  It has become abundantly clear to most women in the space that “Be Excellent” has failed us.

And it's not just Hannah.  Another member reports being “pinned down on a table” while another member “began unzipping [their] pants without any permission at all, refusing to stop even after [they] froze in fear asking what the fuck [he was] doing.”

It would seem that these black hat brogrammers are not Being Excellent, but largely in part of Noisebridge's consensus-based decision making process (which allows any one member to block a decision), women have not been empowered to remove misogynists from the community:

…attempts to remove sexual predators from the space have been stymied by the presence of lone, oblivious members of the community who simply refuse to believe that someone they consider a friend might not be a friend to women in the space.  The situation at Noisebridge has gotten so bad (alongside other issues such as dirtiness and homeless people living in the space) that long-time members went so far as to put in a proposal that Noisebridge seek to terminate its lease, presumably to then rebirth itself at a new location with tighter access control.

Instead of shutting down, Noisebridge instituted a sexual harassment policy—albeit provisionally, to protect against member's fears of censorship and (the long discredited notion) that women level false accusations of rape.

It seems at the intersection of Occupy and technology, women's safety just isn't that important.

Noisebridge refused to comment, with a member saying it's not “possible to get a response from a leaderless organization.

[Hannah Grimm | Photo by Jamillah Knowles]

How to Charge Your Phone on BART

The BART Idiot Hall of Fame is a Facebook group dedicated to shaming passengers for taking up too many seats or attending to their personal hygiene while the train is in motion, but this man is no idiot.  Willing to root through the festering germ nest to his right, he has found a way to convert his ear-shattering commuter train into a charging station.

The daughter of train operator describes the scene:

There is an AC outlet in each train car, about mid car. Lots of people know about this and plug in their cellphone chargers. It's meant for car cleaners to plug in their vacuums. Funny thing is: some people forget and exit the train, leaving their phones still charging!

Although, one spoilsport advises against it:

I would advise against using those outlets. Like someone said they do have surges. Every time the car goes through a gap (no third rail) the outlets loose power. When Third Rail is established again, power comes back. So there is a constant on/off cycle happening with those outlets.

This is why you should obviously (obviously) be carrying a surge protector in your bag at all times.

[BART Idiot Hall of Fame]

London Breed Gives Up on Twitter, The Bike Vote, Having People Like Her

After a storied career as a caustic and crabby Twitter user and occasional District 5 Supervisor, London Breed shut down her unfettered Twitter account this afternoon amid accusations that she's unprofessional and generally thoughtless. Why?  London's straight-shooter and all-around dopey answer to a softball question about safe streets:

That's correct: a couple of human flat tires means all cyclists are undeserving of safe streets, or something like that.  Streetsblog breaks down the troubling sentiment:

The underlying assumption in this argument is that cycling is an activity for a distinct class of people, rather than just a way of getting around. According to this way of thinking, the city cannot implement proven redesigns that make streets safer for the general population until this “class” exhibits suitable behavior. Imagine if you applied the same logic to car infrastructure: No highway or garage would ever be built until we sorted out all the speeding, failure to yield, and distracted driving that kills thousands of Americans each year.

It seems London Breed decided she could no longer control her impulses—her judgment kaput—and she signed off for good.  And it's a shame, too.  We'll forever miss her implications that her constituents are pro-slavery, declarations of being SF's top party host, and general petulance.

[Screenshot by mikesonn]

Beauty Bar Imposes $500 Charge for Twitter Employees

At yesterday's “Lyft & Uber Support Group” meeting (??) at Beauty Bar, the staff instituted 100x surge pricing for all employees of San Francisco's premier bird-branded start-up—a pretty bold action considering “Barbie's Malibu Beach House” was deemed “neighborhood enemy number one” by the Mission Yuppie Eradication Project during the last quasi-class war.  I guess it's all hunky-dory between the torch-and-pitchfork crowd and Beauty Bar now?

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