Pets & Animals

New Frontier in Hipster Pets: Peeing Pigs

The Social Media Generation has had it pretty good with pets.  From Boston Terriers to purse puppies to highly bloggable tabby “kittehs,” we've been afforded a calvary of beasts whose mere appearance inspires “awwws” and “lols,” bringing a whimsical smile to even the most cynical and cold CEOs of this economically-haggard nation.

But over the years, these animals have gotten tired.  Another​ captioned cat pic doesn't elicit the same “likes” it did years ago, and comedy pros have come to lament the use of cliche cute animals to elevate otherwise mediocre comedy.  How do we climb out of this four-legged recession?

The fashionable folks of Brooklyn have it all figured out: pigs!  You'll be strolling down the boutique-lined streets of Williamsburg when your nose catches a scent, “Man, this place reeks ​pig piss.”  Then you turn a corner to find a hulking swine with its snout deep in a rusty drivetrain, urinating in disgust at a clunky, neglected bicycle.  As you follow the pig's leash to its owner, you notice the owner's laugh as she becomes conscious of her and her lil' piggy's joint taste in transportation.  “Yeah Oinks! If I could, I'd tinkle on that hunk of shit too!”

Next thing you know, you're pinching your nose shut and leaning over for a choice shot of a judgmental hog in a muscle shirt ​just letting go on Metropolitan Ave.  The internet has been saved, praise lordy!  Let's prance out to the Central Valley and adopt the very pets we ran away from when we moved to The Big City in the first place!

Hold It Down with Dog Loko

You wanna get blitzed, buddy? Do ya? Do ya?

Of course you do, and St. Ide's wants to get you there (via a 90's flashback to when you wore Stussy and thought Everclear was the best band ever). Much like the intrepid, life saving St Bernards of the Alps before him, Bruiser the Rotweiller also saves lives, especially at 1:58am on a Sunday morning when you're out of options.

So head on over to the 24th and Shotwell bodega and pick up a few if you feel the need to sit in the park today and “hold it down” or whatever.

Gaggle of Pink Gorillas Bustin' Moves on Valencia

Was this some sort of gorilla guerrilla protest against Taqueria el Buen Sabor's meh flavors, or merely a spontaneous pink apeshit dance party?

UPDATE: Ed Casey also caught video of the mob in Union Square, noting:

There was no music and no discernible message… Just a pack of pink gorillas doing some sort of busted ass ring around the rosie. 

[Photo by Dexn and Flexn]

Vag Rabbit

I don't know, man.  I've spent a couple of evenings examining vaginas, and this is no vagina.  It doesn't look much like a rabbit, for that matter.  Maybe some dude with hairy palms flashing a peace sign.  Or an upside down portrait of Kang and Kodos.  Hell, I'd even entertain this being an inverted gingerbread man grabbing his junk.  But a vag rabbit?  Naw, man.  No fucking way.

Until Your Dog Learns How to Ride a Bike, This Timbuk2 Messenger Pack is For You

Do you have a bike? And a dog?  And a pair of black socks and blue glasses and no history of back pain?  Then Timbuk2's absolutely 100% totally real new Clifford bag is for you:

Dogs don't *really* like to walk, particularly big ones. Do your pooch a favor and put him in your pack. The Clifford Canine Carrier was designed with big dogs in mind. Its waterproof TPU liner and tether with clip ensure that all the business stays inside while you romp around outside. Core strength, balance, and non-hostile relationship with your dog are recommended for optimal use.

And here it is in action:

Only 120 bucks!

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