Music

2012 Fuckin' Sssuuuccckkkkeeeddd (Except When It Didn't)

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |


More Doorbell.

I actually thought 2012 was a pretty good year for Bay Area music.  Ty Segall had a banner year that has landed him on notable Best Of lists (even if he's celebrating by moving back to LA), the world found out Antwon exists, The Mission got a new venue via The Chapel (even if it looks like a dark and spooky hobo camp most nights),  The Coup released that video of puppets railing serious lines, everyone's favorite local rollerskating hero got a shout-out in Spin (which I guess is music-related), the free concerts at Brick + Mortar are still going strong, I didn't hear Journey once at a karaoke bar, and I personally discovered Grandma's Boyfriend is a band.  A damn good year, no?

Well, the critics over at The Bay Bridged weren't so impressed, but they were able to find a few hits:

The Mallard played everywhere this year. They graced the small and mighty stage at Oakland’s amazing 1,2,3,4 Go! Records and they thrashed outdoors at our very own Rock Make Street Festival. They got it going on. See them soon before your only option is the nosebleed section of Oracle Arena.

Well, shit.  I was able to catch the last few minutes of their Rock Make set and it was definitely damn good, so you should probably go get tickets to their 1/12 show at The Indy before you have to do something regrettable like go to Oakland to see 'em.

(And read on for additions thoughts on Terry Malts and queer bars in Oakland.)

And Now Let's Watch a Pack of Partying Puppets Do All The Cocaine

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

This video is 4 weeks old, which is practically 40 in internet years, so do excuse our tardiness, but for some sick reason, we're only now catching wind of Oakland-based The Coup's video for “Your Parents' Cocaine.”  Isn't it grand?  It has all the elements of we look for in video perfection, namely: puppets, drugs, stabbings, felt finger-banging, raining money, and kazoos. Yes, obviously, kazoos.

Marvel:

And Here's Lil Wayne Singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" at Yesterday's Giants Game

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Somehow we missed this killer performance by Weezy during yesterday's game (or worse, FOX was too busy airing another 30 second Men's Warehouse spot curiously featuring men with neck tattoos donning business suits, thus depriving millions of Americans the delight of witnessing this live), but here it is.

[via Isaac Fitzgerald]

Clarion Alley Turns 20 With Music, Murals and Movies

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you haven't noticed, Clarion Alley has been getting quite the refresh over the past few weeks in preparation for this weekend's big 20th anniversary party, and they have a lot planned for Saturday.  Megan Wilson of the Clarion Alley Mural Project (CAMP) fills us in:

The block party is all set for this Saturday. We hope to see you!! We have new murals, new songs, new faces and long-time neighborhood artists & residents, in tow.

Free Music noon-9pm (exact lineup below)
Children's Parade and costume contest starts at noon
Projections, Film screenings happening after dark
Limited Edition Zines and T-shirts will be available, designed by artist Rigo23 and others TBA

If nine hours of music isn't enough for you, The Roxie Theater will be showing a grip of footage shot in Clarion Alley throughout the years Thursday at 7pm:

In honor and celebration of the Clarion Alley Mural Project’s 20th Anniversary, the Little Roxie will feature murals by artists from CAMP in the theater’s lobby and storefront window during October. The exhibition will be accompanied by an evening of shorts filmed on Clarion Alley over the past twenty years, including rare archival footage from filmmaker Fiona O’Conner Devereux of the first murals in the Alley, narrated by CAMP co-founder Rigo 23.

See you there!

[Facebook]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Ty Segall Goes Late Night

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

SF's very-own Ty Segall has been blowing up lately (which, I'm sure you already know, but it bears repeating).  He's cranked out 3 LPs this year—one of which is destine to wind up on various album-of-the-year lists, he'll be taking the stage at that festival on that old naval island in the middle of the bay this weekend, and he just dropped his latest album on Tuesday (which received a respectable 8.0 from noted album grader Pitchfork).  Apparently he even dedicated the latest record to San Francisco in the liner notes, which is real nice, even if no one really buys CDs and cassettes anymore.

But all that comes to a head next Tuesday, when Ty is scheduled to make his late night TV debut on Conan.  It'll be big for him, but awesome for us.  I mean, just watch how fucking weird it got when he did a network morning show in Chicago last week:

See?  Rules.  I can already see him just screaming “CONANNNNNNNN!!! COOOOOOONANNNNNNNNNN!!” at that goofy Irish dude over and over again.

11pm Tuesday on TBS (or Wednesday AM on YouTube).

And Now Let's Laugh at Sonoma County

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

We all know that goofy gangsta raps about white people shit (read: food) are a thoroughly exhausted meme, but with lyrics like “just one thing missing from this blessed day, a motherfucking magnum of cuvee chardonnay” and protips for how best to deal with spazzing girlfriends, this one is worth a watch.  Also, there's lots of gratuitous grape eating and box throwing, which were two of my favorite activities as a temperamental child.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

SF Weekly Intern Lectures Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong on Being Punk Rock

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Following Billie Joe Armstrong's finger-pointing guitar-smashing sassypants meltdown at i<3radio, an SF Weekly intern and frontman of an East Bay straight edge punk band decided to remind the Grammy-winning musician what it's like to be punk:

There is nothing punk about having a drunken divalicious breakdown at the iHeartRadio Festival because your set was too short. They probably only gave you one more minute because they knew that your new song “Oh Love” was coming up, and let's face it — no one wants to hear that shit.

One minute is supposed to be the duration of a punk song, not the length of your temper tantrum YouTube clip, Billie.

Oh what's that? You aren't Justin Bieber? Of course you aren't, silly! Everyone knows Bieber has a much better haircut. Also, I think Rihanna was actually up next, not the Biebz. Wait, it was Usher who cut into your time, right? You are the company you keep, buddy.

Read on for additional thoughts on Billie Joe's wardrobe and an invitation to get whipped with chains.

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