The Memenets

Chief Gascon Enlists Incidental Hiptards to Promote "Civil Sidewalks"

I was pretty surprised by Gascon's casting list for his latest promotional video for his so-called “civil sidewalks” proposition.  I had expected it to be a bunch of geezers having a good cry about homelessness, but was instead surprised he managed to rally a few scenesters to take up the cause.  Some of my favorites included the owner of FTC Skateshop, who complained about civility on the streets with a backdrop of skateboards and “I <3 Haters” hats, which is particularly ironic because skateboarding is all about breaking laws and not being civil in public. Another “Mission Resident,” chilling at the 22nd St. parklett where people sit and lie nearly 24/7, was also opposed.

“Oh noes, homeless people aren't buying my beauty supplies.”

However, the real highlight of this three minute short is the empty-framed, sailor-tatted Megan Schnider, who starts going on about people with “like, chickens running around.”  I'm seriously waiting for the memenets to discover this one and autotune the shit out of it.  Think of the potential people!  An autotuned ditzy voice, psychedelic techno beats, animated gifs of dancing chickens and random sounds of clucking thrown in for good measure.  It'd be like hatebeak, only much funnier.

I LUV U BRO

Shit. I haven't posted anything on this blog in a very long time. Who knows why, exactly, but I'm back now, and I've got something to share.

 

 

I've recently returned from a trip to Seattle, WA, where I saw shit-ton of obscure electronic artists perform. (That's not what this is about, but you can read about those experiences here, if you want.) While I was up there, a friend of mine showed me this video his friend made, and it's pretty funny.

I don't know much about “memes,” nor do I care to, but this seems destined for some kind of fleeting internet attention, to me. Sure, the quintessential 'bro' is an easy target, but there are enough excellent one-liners in “I Luv U Bro” to excuse the fish-in-a-barrel aspect. But fuck it, anyway! This shit's hilarious, and mega-kudos for the excellent Google Image Search pics.

Haha… I said “but fuck it.”

JUMPING ON THE MEMEWAGON

Lisa over at Everyday Photos hipped us to Ritual Roaster's blending of July 2010 internet and espresso.  I'm pretty sure that what this means is that double rainbow is 'fucking dead.'

In other Ritual related news, Berkeley's J-School is apparently back in session because they are posting a mess of original stories again.  For example, yesterday I learned that Four Barrel was born out of a falling out at Ritual (I'm sure everyone already knew that, feel free to make fun of me in the comments) and celebrated their 2 year anniversary with motherfucking pony rides:

Point Four Barrel.

REP YOUR HOOD Y'ALL!

I'm not going to lie, I love the fact I now live a city with this much hand gesture diversity as San Francisco.  What a nice contrast to a place like Boston, where every 'hood shares the same sign:

(via generic, who might have made this but I have no idea)

Tosh joins the Resistance against the Axis of Ice

While we at Uptown don't (openly) condone Bros Slitting Bros throats, we're happy to see a celebrity (albeit a C-lister) join us in the fight against the Axis of Ice.  Daniel Tosh raises an interesting point that hadn't previously occurred to me; Smirnoff Ice is the new ZIMA.  I'd like to see the retro ZIMA make a comeback and take its place next PBR as a hipster beverage.  

Hat tip to Clark.  Friends don't let friends Ice Bros.


EDIT: Obligatory addition of 90's throwback ZIMA commercials.

“Are those free range burgers?”

 

“She started deep into my eyes and said …nice hat”

GOAL TROLL

The Culprit

For those of you who didn't show up to work on time after last week's early morning US v Slovenia game, below is a screencap of what FIFA ref Koman Coulibaly's wiki entry read for about 20 mins before the buzzkills took it down.  It was recently announced that Coulibaly would not be officiating in the next round of games.  YELLOWCARDED MOTHERFUCKER. 

Highlights include:

  • “Coulibaly is rumoured to hate the United States of America with the burning passion of a white hot sun.” 
  • “Coulibaly's exploits have drawn comparisons to such sporting pariahs as Jim Joyce, Don Denkinger, Tim Donaghy, and even BP CEO Tony Heyward.”

If you're interested in seeing the US stomp all over Algeria in a match that isn't ref'd by Koman 'LOL Whut?' Coulibaly, you are welcome to freeze your ass off at the Civic Center tomorrow at 7am.

.gif Continues to be the Hipster File Format of 2010

Alright this shit is so legit I can hardly contain myself.  When Geocities shut down down last year, I thought we put a nail in the animated gif coffin, because, fuck, do we really need a spinning @ telling people to email us? But with local legend Rio Yanez embracing the format (above), with strong backings from Colin Macfadyen (below), it appears the gif is making its urban revival.

I mean, guys, these gifs are so insane it is even breaking the Uptown Almanac ROCK SOLID CODEBASE:

I don't even know what this fucking error message means yo

The most important thing to note about the GIF PARTY breaking out on the internet everywhere is that youtube baiting has moved to gif.  For example, if Perez Hilton tweeted out something like, “If you are easily offended, do NOT click here. Oh, Miley! Warning: truly not for the easily offended!” and linked to this, teenage girls everyone would off themselves with embarrassment.

Pages