The Memenets

Sky Rat Hunter Tests New Laser-Based Weapon; Misses

The man behind Bluoz—a blog about homelessness, local music from the mid-90s, and San Francisco's bird population—recently had the brilliant idea/was sufficiently bored enough to experiment with a laser pointer and birds.  Turns out our SOMA sky rat population falls for the same tricks that dogs and cats fall for, generating an endless series of YouTubes and countless hours of productivity lost.

All that's left to do now is for someone to camp atop of Carlos Club at 24th and Mission with a laser pointer and camera and make the magic happen.

[Bluoz]

Shit Wasted Hipsters Say in The Mission

I'm not big into blogging the whole 'overheard' thing, but this particular gem I heard during my late night bar travels this past weekend is worth noting:

I’ve come up with the next viral internet meme. So you know how terrible and unexpected things happen in your life like your friend dying in a fire or in a violent car crash? Well, they inevitably send someone their last text message. So why not get that text tattooed on the back of your neck?

The guy went on to talk about starting a blog of all the tattoos, leading to a book deal and some sort of regular income.  Best of luck!

Someone Finally Fulfilled My Dream of Knowing What a Squirrel Wearing Acorn Bling Would Look Like

Not only do I now know that squirrels look pretty baller while rocking a “nutz” chain, but I can hang the portrait above my fireplace for a cool eight grand.

Anyway, this piece by Isabel Samaras is hanging on the wall of 111 Minna, so if you want to spend 2 months salary on a memepainting/look at the real thing and not a blurry photo of it, you know where to go.  Also, if you ever wanted to know what a squirrel wearing a chain while standing next to an old rapper wearing sexy librarian glasses and selling alcohol to minors looks like, we also have that covered.

How To Beard Yourself Like Brian Wilson

I recognize this is all sorts of Laughing Squid bait, but this particular graphic is not only funny, but McSweeney's is selling an 11”x17” print of this bad boy for a mere $8 so you can hang it “next to your bathroom mirror.”  I presume they want you to hang it there as a reminder not to shave your face, not so you have something to distract yourself while you sit in your bathroom crying about how you've let yourself go over the years.

[via Ice Tubes (which you should just be reading at this point)]

Bake-Free Bake Sale

Dolores Park isn't particularly known for its drug-free baked goods, which makes the fact that some DP neighbors are slanging their child-friendly treats like crack just that much richer.  Just go up to the string, attach a dollar, and pull the string.  Up goes your dollar, down goes a cookie.  And this being the city that eats the internet for breakfast, loves it.

(hat tip Laughing SquidPhotos by sandwichgirl)

The Bikes of San Francisco

Reader AB sends us this poster, which I guess is attempting to depict what types of bikes represent various neighborhoods in SF.  Sure, the Tenderloin illustration is one humdinger of a joke, but the rest of the neighborhoods are just too literal.  I mean, I realize absolutely everyone in the Mission rides a fixie, but I have never once seen a unicycle in the Haight.  Is it trying to say the Haight is full of red-nosed clowns?  Perhaps the Haight should have been a tall bike, representing that it is a complete bastardization of what it once was.  And shouldn't Civic Center be the town bicycle?

Anyway, if you dig this poster, a cool 30 smacks and it's yours.

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