Humor

Trio of Brazen Badasses Boost Piece of Construction Equipment, Film the Joyride For Our Entertainment

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Jay sends us this blurred video (presumably so to protect the identities of the awesomely idiotic parties involved), noting:

I heard this Bobcat getting stolen last night from under my window at the end of Linda St. I was surprised SFMissionProtector wasn't on it cause it's the same jobsite where Bunny Boy got busted. Somebody found it up the road and incriminated themselves on YouTube. “Filming this crime spree is our best idea ever!”

The video (which I've since uploaded to my own YouTube acct, should the original be removed in a fit of better judgment) remarks:

Found this on Lapidge St. at 3 a.m. Took it to 18th. First time driver.

Conan O'Brien-Approved Chinatown Mainstay Sam Wo Closing

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Inside Scoop has the Scoop:

Owner David Ho — who has owned the restaurant for the last 30 years — confirms the closure with Scoop. Sam Wo will be open today and tomorrow, and then close the doors forever.

“Too old. Everything’s too old,” says the 56-year-old Ho. “The building is too old. It’s very sad.”

He adds that the three-story restaurant has been having problems with the fire department and the kitchen is too old, too. He says that he won’t reopen, at 813 Washington or elsewhere.

The bummer article goes on to discuss the joint's link to SF history, but let's not forget about its contribution to sketch comedy:

[Inside Scoop]

Missed Connections Comix: Emergency Enchantment

— By James the Stanton (@gnartoons) |

I drew this one up last night, which didn't leave me enough time to wonder about whether or not you wanted to see this much blood on your Sunday morning.  Ooh Yah, Bloody Marys do sound good.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

How to do Taxes

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Mission artist Elliott C Nathan recently launched a new comic Ellio McHelium's Guide to the World, which is sorta like Clarissa Explains It All, only from the perspective of a 7-year-old boy whose primarily concerned with cooking hotdogs and thieving his drunk mother's credit card.  Do give it a look.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Until Your Dog Learns How to Ride a Bike, This Timbuk2 Messenger Pack is For You

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Do you have a bike? And a dog?  And a pair of black socks and blue glasses and no history of back pain?  Then Timbuk2's absolutely 100% totally real new Clifford bag is for you:

Dogs don't *really* like to walk, particularly big ones. Do your pooch a favor and put him in your pack. The Clifford Canine Carrier was designed with big dogs in mind. Its waterproof TPU liner and tether with clip ensure that all the business stays inside while you romp around outside. Core strength, balance, and non-hostile relationship with your dog are recommended for optimal use.

And here it is in action:

Only 120 bucks!

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Comedy Bodega to Provide You With an Excuse to Finally Check Out Esta Noche

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I know the 'flyer' is a bit small, but stay with me on this one.

Unbeknownst to me, there has been a comedy night going down at 16th Street Latino gay bar/occassional shitty Uptown Almanac punchline Esta Noche for the past few months.  Here're the details:

Come to Comedy Bodega for the freshest laughs in the Mission all FREE! Every Thursday at 8pm. You don’t have to be a bisexual mariachi hipster to get in the door. Everyone is welcome at ESTA NOCHE the only Latino gay club in San Francisco. All shows in English.

Free comedy and I don't have to dress up like a mariachi?  There.

Anyway, I can vouch for Lydia and Kaseem being really fucking funny.  I'm not sure who the other two people are, but I'm sure they're funny too.  You should go.

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