East Bay

Arby's Employee Lashes Out at Kreayshawn

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I don't know if everyone has been following the comments section lately, but there's some quality discourse going on in the “Gucci Gucci” post. From reader “arbys worker”:

i really like this song except the arbys worker comment. im not offended that it was said, but if ur gonna try to insult sum1 get ur facts straight…… arbys small medium large, mc donalds supersizes their order though not used anymore. clearly rappers arent the smartest spork in trash recepticle (taco bell reference).

now i wish i had a spork…..

Thanks for straightening that out!

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Mitchell's Mayhem

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Everyone likes to hate on Bi-Rite's long summer lines, but this weekend Mitchell's was packing a 30 minute wait for a cone at 10pm.  As one astute customer noted while exiting the shop pointing westward like a starved frontiersman, “YO!, I heard Safeway sells ice cream RIGHT OVER THERE.”  Very true, but that Peanut Butter Blitz sundae is oh-so-worth-it.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

'MacBook' Recovered, Thief in Fetal Position at Local Jail

— By Zach Perkins |

Fact: the fetal position is not an effective deterant for jail rape.

It's starting to look like 'This Guy Has My MacBook' was actually NOT a marketing ploy by HiddenApp. Last night, after the story received national media attention (and the Oakland PD received calls from Good Morning America), the man pictured in various compromising positions on Josh Kaufman's tumblr was arrested and his MacBook recovered.  
 
Muthanna Aldebashi, an Alameda cab and limo driver, was lured by police into picking them up for his car service.  The MacBook was found in his home and he was arrested for possessing stolen property.  Thee-o-so-creepy-one claimed that he was given the laptop as a gift, and the identity of the actual thief is still unknown.  So there you go tech investors, now might be a good time to throw some money at HiddenApp, it's definitely earned its street cred.
 
Check out victim Joshua Kaufman's timeline of the events here.
Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

This Guy Stole a MacBook...

— By Zach Perkins |

No, it's not the lame, new version of a 'guy walks into a bar' joke, it's a tumblr called 'This Guy Has My MacBook'.  

The tumblr purportedly contains snap-shots of a thief using a MacBook that was stolen in Oakland from the blog's author.  Or, it's some seriously ingenious viral marketing from Hidden, a software service that allows you to remotely use the camera of your MacBook and locate it if it's ever stolen.

Either way, the comic potential of this is limitless…

(Photos via This Guy Has My MacBook)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Hot Jam For The Rapture: Kreayshawn's "Gucci Gucci"

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

When someone sends me an email that starts out with “Chick rapper out of Oakland. Fresh.” and I see a pair of tattooed white girls with thick glasses and feather earrings, I start retching.  But damn, this shit is definitely fresh.  Just check out some of the lyrics:

Yeah you can kiss the ring but you could never touch the crown
I smoke a million swisher blunts and I ain't never coming down
Bitch you ain't no Barbie, I see you work at Arby's
Number 2, supersize, hurry up I'm starving

And

The editor, director, plus I'm my own boss, 
so posh nails fierce with the gold gloss
Which means, nobody's getting over me
I got the swag and it's puffin out my ovaries

I, for one, am glam I got to experience this song before End Times.

Fellow UA contributor Josh Constine also notes:

Unlike most of today's rap lyrics, “Gucci Gucci” discusses Bay Area staples that didn't exist in the G-Funk era. With name checks of Twitter, Google, and Adderall (you know, so kids can study hard, get into one of those elite universities, and score a job at these tech companies), Kreayshawn reformats hip hop cliches about drugs and success. The jam is clearly for a modern audience that are more likely to be in the age range of Eazy-E's illegitimate children than his fans.

Full lyrics at the top of the comments, because yer deaf.

Corporate Scraper Bikes All the Rage in Oakland

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

I have to say, this is a much finer-looking ride than that PBR fixie that was being sold on Craigslist a few weeks back.  Almost makes me want to drink boring sodas again.  Almost.

Anyway, this is part of a scraper bike series shot by Matthew Reamer.  Be sure to give the entire gallery a look.

[h/t Oakland Local Lite]

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

A Revolution Without Dancing is Not a Revolution Worth Having.

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

What I Saw in Berkeley Today spotted the latest work from Get Up pasted up on Berkeley's equivalent of Valencia Street.  Well, I guess it's hard to call Telegraph an equivalent to Valencia, considering it's thoroughly inferior.  Then again, Berkeley is an inferior version of San Francisco, so I supposed it works.  But I digress.  Dancing, right?  Yes, dancing.

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

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