'STOP SHITTING HERE!'

— By Zach Perkins |

'The Haight has become a battleground over a new controversial ordinance, known as the Shit-Lie Law. This divisive measure has pit local business owners, residents and people with the slightest shred of modesty against those too inebriated or shunned by society to give a fuck.' ~KLIT News 47*

Found behind Magnolia Brew Co by reader Marquis, who swears to god that he wasn't back their looking for a place to shit but came back five pounds lighter anyway.

*=Not a real news source. Or quote, story, or law.  

HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER BOWL: Toad & Salmon's Chili Bowl Recap

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If you like skateboarding, the Top Gun soundtrack, and some random 5 second video of a cute dog taken with a wide-angle lens, well, holy shit, this post was made for you.

We made it out to Toad & Salmon's 6th Annual Chili Bowl at Potrero del Sol and it was, per usual, a solid time.  While it didn't feature the blood geysers and beer balloons of years past, it was packed with quality skateboarding, tallcans, chili, excitement on Heckle Hill, and cursing from the announcers.  Unfortunately, we won't be able to put together a good video of the action until early next week (be sure to come back and visit), but in the meantime, you can wet your appetite with this lazy video of the footage I took on the crappy camera or check out the photos I posted to flickr:

Also, here's a rad snap of Evelyn Abad fucking up the women's division:

 

Previously on Uptown Almanac: 

Eat Real Festival: Camera Phone Coverage Edition

— By Zach Perkins |

4505 Chicharrones were in full effect.

There was some 'Oakland's Next Top Butcher' action going down.  It looked pretty rad but I was already too full to stick around and see who won.

The very best food came from the very un-branded “Farmstands”. Each of these tents showcased a different local urban farm paired with a local chef.  The rabbit and duck confit were excellent.  Side note: In recent months I've come to the conclusion that there is very a notable 'babe factor' in the East Bay urban farming movement.

AKA: The Snooki Special.

Pork was probably the most over represented meat this weekend.  Where my bovines at?

There were plenty of people yammering about sustainability/etc. and doing demonstrations.  This chicken is about to demonstrate why you should never volunteer to work the Sunday shift at the festival.

Uh, srsly yall?

SHOCKER ALERT: There was no line at the Chipotle tent.

PRO TIP: When fighting through festival sized crowds, use resealable containers to protect you $6 beer investment.

FAKE CELEBRITY SIGHTING OF THE WEEKEND: James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem; not a vegetarian.

JUMPING ON THE MEMEWAGON

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

Lisa over at Everyday Photos hipped us to Ritual Roaster's blending of July 2010 internet and espresso.  I'm pretty sure that what this means is that double rainbow is 'fucking dead.'

In other Ritual related news, Berkeley's J-School is apparently back in session because they are posting a mess of original stories again.  For example, yesterday I learned that Four Barrel was born out of a falling out at Ritual (I'm sure everyone already knew that, feel free to make fun of me in the comments) and celebrated their 2 year anniversary with motherfucking pony rides:

Point Four Barrel.

Cool Kid Fashion: PETA Hoodie

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

If just last week you had told me I'd be seeing some skateboard industry dirtbag rocking a PETA hoodie at a competition at Potrero del Sol, I would have laughed at you and bet you I'd start eating meat again if the sight was seen.  Well, what the fuck, four dancing bunnies spotted within feet of Potrero's bowl.  Does this mean it's cool to wear your veganism on for back or is PETA the apex of hooded irony?

Eating Shit

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

JJ San shot this at Sunday's “Streets of San Francisco BMX” contest at the Ferry Building:

The whole event was basically over but then everyone egged this guy on to try clearing this jump. They made this nice wooden landing for him but in the end he didn't even use it! He had fallen multiple times throughout the day on various things; he's got a pretty good tolerance for pain apparently!

(Link)

Man Gets 'Way Gone' at Four Loko Flash Dance in Dolores Park

— By Kevin Montgomery (@kevinmonty) |

After pounding back 23.5 ounces of Lemonade Loko after the Dolores Park Four Loko flash dance, this dude completely falls apart.  A warning for all you cool kids out there.

(mixed with News 12's youth ad campaign for the malt beverage)

Previously on Uptown Almanac: