Gray sends us this alluring photo of a crowded refrigerator and a quick review of Evil Twin's unfortunately named Mission Hipster Ale: "It's like a typical Dolores kid: brightly colored, proud on the outside, but somewhat boring and bitter on the inside."
(For what it's worth, the brewery describes their creation a bit more favorably: "This super-exclusive, counter-culture pale ale is dedicated to ‘The Mish’ aka Mission District in San Francisco. It’s an homage to skinny jeans, tote-bags, fixie bikes with drop handlebars and Dolores Park.")
Anyway, if you're looking for some somewhat boring and bitter beer, you can grab a pack at City Beer Store in San Francisco's 'NoMi' aka North of the Mission neighborhood.
According to ABC 7, a bystander was critically shot by police around 2 a.m. Sunday morning after a fight broke out between people leaving Elbo Room:
"One of the men pulled a gun on the group. Citizens ran into the parking lot at Mission Station, calling the attention of the officers that somebody had pulled a gun on the group," said [Police Chief Greg Suhr].
"In fearing that the folks were going to be either shot or killed, they fired upon the suspect, striking the suspect. We don't know the circumstances, but another person was also hit by the gunfire," said Suhr.
Both men were taken to San Francisco General Hospital in critical condition. During the investigation, there were 15 orange circles with numbers drawn on the ground indicating where the shells fell from the shots one of the officers fired. When officers recovered the suspect's gun, they discovered it was not a gun, but an air-powered weapon.
Despite the park's praised reputation as a boundless off-leash dog park and enhanced adult recreation emporium, a lone neighbor wants to further delay Dolores Park's already drawn-out renovation project. For The Children.
According to an appeal filed last week by Dr. Claudia Praetel, the planned two off-leash dog play areas "are by no means acceptable to many families with school-aged children who are using this park." She elaborates:
Serious concern for loss of open space for children: Dolores Park is adjacent to 2 schools and has more than 8 other schools near by - desperate need for open space for children to run and play in order to stem childhood obesity pandemic.
The Mission has a very high to higher density of children aged 6-12 per net acre, a large park with open space is paramount to their healthy development in an inner city setting, were other parks may not be accessible to them.
That's right, with dozens of pugs let loose across the park, our so-called future won't have space to beat back their looming rotundity. The only way to spare their waistlines is to hold up the entire park renovation.
Or, at least, that's the claim.
The appeal is willfully oblivious to the park's current popularity--as if blocking the renovation and a second "legal" off-leash dog area with it will magically disperse the hundreds of adultish people littered about daily. But even so, no matter how wildly absurd the protest is, the city has to take it seriously.
"Unfortunately, right before the deadline, an appeal was filed of the Mitigated Negative Declaration for the Dolores Park project," a legislative aide to Supervisor Wiener wrote Friday. "This triggers a hearing at the Planning Commission and could delay consideration of the project by the Recreation and Parks Commission. A further appeal is then possible to the Board of Supervisors."
What's even worse is this loner appellant could effectively derail the community-driven consensus redesign process; one that involved dozens--if not hundreds--of park users over the course of two years, specifically to avoid leaving anyone out.
"Did we not have an exhaustive community process to try and settle this? Now 'a concerned citizen' will hold up the much needed and truly vetted Dolores Park renovation," Robert Burst, co-founder of Dolores Park Works, told us.
"This is not democracy, it's harassment."
Below, the entirety of the appeal's text, for your amusement and grief:
Previously on Uptown Almanac
I updated my website, so now you can order my new books (please, thank you) and read Missed Connections! 
The original post was good enough on it's own for a comic, but then I noticed these three Missed Connections that had been posted immediately beforehand:
The internet is a lonely place. But seriously, buy my comic books.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Renowned film critic and one-time Uptown Almanac commenter Roger Ebert passed away earlier today. A sad day for movie-buffs, journalists, and American culture alike. But in keeping true to its instantaneous, flash-in-the-pan fashion, Twitter has stepped through the grieving process with unparallelled quickness:
1. Denial
no not ebert. no no no.
— Lisa (@lisatook) April 4, 2013
oh no, not ebert :[
— stephanie vacher (@awesome) April 4, 2013
2. Praise
The death of Roger Ebert closes an era. No other single person did so much to define popular dialogue about cinema.
— Russ Fischer (@russfischer) April 4, 2013
What a fucking great example of a life well lived. Thank you, @ebertchicago. May you live forever in everyone you inspired.
— Mike Monteiro (@Mike_FTW) April 4, 2013
3. Viral Lift
Roger Ebert on Battlefield Earth is one of the most hilarious things you'll ever read. fm4.fm/10vYaGO
— Farhad Manjoo (@fmanjoo) April 4, 2013
Young Roger Ebert twitter.com/pourmecoffee/s…
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 4, 2013
4. Self-Congratulation
Officially the least-polarizing death in the history of Twitter.
— Tim Murphy (@timothypmurphy) April 4, 2013
It's nice to see Twitter flooded with appreciation for someone who's passed away rather than just puns about their name and work.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 4, 2013
5. Jose Canseco (inevitably)
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Rhiannon was on the scene to witness the daring attempt to save a bike:
A motorcycle gas tank caught fire and the dude disassembled his tank, carried it, flaming, across 26th at South Van Ness. Then he tried to stamp it out until a day laborer ran up with a fire extinguisher. It was bitchin'
Bitchin!
When future generations of American schoolchildren look back at 2012 in their history ebooks, San Francisco's greatest achievement will undoubtedly be remembered as Lyft's pink mustache--perhaps the most significant leap forward in automobile anthropomorphism since Lindsey Lohan sniffed her way inside Herbie the Love Bug back in 1969. But we aren't living in 1969, my friends. This is bronze age of iterative disruption, and Muni has taken Lyft's fist-bumpin' badge of whimsy and pivoted it into a sinister, alien-eyed autobus frontage.
That's right. Behold the future of Muni: these are the new electrohybridfuturebuses you'll be spending your anxiety-filled commutes in for the next 10-15 years, and oh how evil they look.
But it's a marvelous improvement, really. And when you consider the driver of said alien-eyed autobus won't welcome you with a fist-bump, but instead a glare and mumbled obscenity, pehaps Muni's newly personified face is a fitting representation the entire system.
[Photo by munidave | via Streetsblog]
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Biking along Valencia during rush hour has long been a dangerous dance of swerving around cars pulling into the bike lane for valet parking or to drop hungry frumps off in front of restaurants. However, the messy street scene, which was typically contained to the two blocks between 16th and 18th, has crept further south in recent months. Just two weeks ago, Abbot's Cellar--who previously promised neighbors they'd never offer valet parking--began blocking the bike lane with valet parking at 19th and Valencia.
It's hard not to see it as a harbinger of further valets along the white table-clothed Valencia.
So as I hastily dodged a Town Car last Tuesday, I couldn't help but wonder whatever came of Valencia's proposed restaurant moratorium. If you recall, it was last November that the Valencia Corridor Merchant's Association (VCMA) endorsed a plan to put a temporary ban on new restaurants and a conditional use permit on them following that, in hopes of preserving some of the street's economic diversity.
However, in the months that followed, the neighborhood's two elected supervisors--David Campos and Scott Wiener--have remained coy on the matter. In fact, Campos last told Mission Local, "I haven’t taken a position yet [on the moratorium]," and Wiener told the Chronicle's resident old person C.W. Nevius, "I'm pretty skeptical of a moratorium."
Since those comments, two more restaurants and Abbot's valet parking have come to Valencia.
"The word moratorium triggers an emotional response. It sounds very permanent," a local businessman and member of the VCMA--who requested anonymity--recently told us. "I keep hearing that other neighborhoods have enacted permanent moratoriums and it was DEVASTATING to the community. Look at Noe Valley for example. They had 6 restaurants, so they enacted a permanent moratorium. Over the years as each of those restaurants closed, they ended up with no place to eat. It was a HUGE mistake. Thank GOD they got rid of that."
He explains what VCMA was actually proposing:
The VCMA actually recommended that Planning Department should consider the views of the community (businesses and residents) before rubber stamping another new full-service (not self-service, like Curry Up Now) restaurant opening up on Valencia (and "new" as in brand new--used-to-be-a-book-store-new, not used-to-be-another-full-service-restaurant new). This is called a Special Use Permit process.
This was to be proceed by a temporary breather - a 12 month moratorium.
However, after some negative press came in from the likes of C.W. Nevius, Wiener and Campos spiked the proposal. Wiener himself told the Chronicle, "[Moratoriums] were enacted in Noe and the Castro in the late '80s, and the food scene in both neighborhoods suffered."
Of course, the Mission isn't Noe Valley. Valencia alone has 36 restaurants between 15th and 20th, and that doesn't include the dozens on sides streets immediately off of Valencia. Even if the VCMA supported a full ban on new restaurants--which they obviously are not--it's not like the Mission would suddenly be a foodless wasteland.
"The supervisors who were once supportive of the Special Use Permit idea (it even came from one of them) don't seem to be very excited about it now," our source confirmed. "But they seem to want to be able to do something."
Do something?
"They are proposing a cap at a percentage by block."
That's right, the supervisors what to restrict the number of restaurants per block to a certain percentage.
That might strike you as a good way to prevent total homogeneity along Valencia without resorting to something silly like "community imput" and "temporary breathers." But with 41% of all storefronts between 15th and 20th are already restaurants, it's difficult to see how that'll solve anything.
Well, anything besides the Supervisor's getting bad press from a moratorium, of course...
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Adobe just shared this in our comments:
Dear Friends of Adobe,
Despite completing a successful fund raising campaign, our attempts to negotiate a new lease with the landlord have not reached a conclusion that allows us to stay in our 16th Street location. Unfortunately, we have received notice that by June 15th, we must leave our home of almost 25 years. The new tenant may or may not be Jack Spade - we can’t officially confirm.San Francisco, the Mission, and 16th Street are in a constant state of flux and growth. We must deal with this financial and cultural reality as it is. Adobe though is much more than the storefront: it is a community, an experience, a gallery, a living room, a conversation, and a new friend (plus a fantastic place to buy great used books!).
When our core Adobe group began meeting almost a year ago, our ultimate goal became our long-term survival. In order to survive we must move on. Currently, we are working with a commercial broker to identify new spaces that might be a good fit for a new store. We have developed a set of criteria; once we find a place we will move forward. We are optimistic, as well as patient. The funds we raised are in the bank. They will be used to keep the life and culture of Adobe alive.We will keep you posted as to our progress. If you see a space under 2000 square feet.. give us a shout!
Keep the faith. We love you.
Adobe Books
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