I know the photo doesn't do it justice, but the most beautiful way to be welcomed back to SF is to see an seemingly endless line of orange cones marking of freshly painted sharrows all the way to Potrero. I might be a little biased in my excitement because I live on the corner of 22nd but hella ya.
Cool kid tip: if you ride in the apex of the sharrow, you're actually outside of the door-zone.
As previously reported on UA, Air is being touted by the YouTube/Vimeo communities as the soundtrack of San Francisco. Newly uncovered evidence suggests that it may also be the soundtrack of impending doom (via big fucking natural disasters).
Historians and silent film archivists have deduced from trade papers of the period, visible weather conditions in film and the wetness of the streets (ie: MAGIC) that this footage of Market Street was shot on April 14th, 1906; just four days before the great quake of 1906 struck and ruined everybody's Spring Break.
This shit is like Shanghai at rush hour but with less car accidents, opression and MSG. The bystanders in this film obviously had Spring Break fever; CAN'T YOU SEE HOW WILD THEY'RE GOING? This was further enraged by the presence of the camera crew and their promises of "Ladies Gone Lusty" tweed jackets if beezies flashed them their knickers. Note the early 20th Century attention-whore Marina Bro at 4:35 who drunkenly zig-zags in front of the moving cable car.
A side by side comparison of this film and what Market St. looked like after the quake can be seen here. BUMMER.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
So, I don't know about you all, but I'm definitely doing this.
Urban Zip-Line Coming to San Francisco! Zoom 600 Feet Over Justin Herman Plaza for Free
Those people in British Columbia, they like to have fun. So, in order to get you to think about taking your next vacay up in the Great White, they’re going to install a 600-foot-long zip-line* in Embarcadero Square and run it for eleven days starting April 8th, 2010. And, assuming you meet their physical requirements (It looks like I’ll qualify, but 280-pound Epic Beard Man Thomas Bruso probably won’t), you’ll be able to harness up and go for a 200-yard ride FOR FREE.
Imagine zooming over the giant white tent hey’re constructing for Peter Pan (opening April 27th!) at neighboring Sue Bierman Park.
Thanks, Canada! I doubt I'll ever go up there to vacation, but the awesome free zipline ride will be much appreciated.
Reader Neil points out that "NIMBY neighbors are already on the scene" at the recently opened Dolores Park-inspired bar in Brooklyn:
Wow, what a great bar! Do you know what would make it more awesome? A roof! And sound-proofing!
Seriously, as one of the hundreds of neighbors who won't be falling asleep until 4AM every night this summer, this place sucks. That room that's open to the sky that everyone is raving about? All of that noise has to go somewhere, and right now it is bouncing off of all the buildings and going straight into our windows. I can hear EVERYTHING people are saying, even if it's only 1 or 2 people... the noise is magnified enormously. I can't even tell you how loud we have to turn up our TV to cover the din. I didn't move to Park Slope to have to sleep with the windows closed and earplugs in every night.
Jamie M. is your stereotypical Dolores Park NIMBY. Looks the part, probably hasn't gotten "serviced" in 6 months, and her "interests" include "calamari, clams, mussels, oysters, bourbon, wine, sushi" (read: moving to suburbia and shitting out two kids whose father is a sperm bank next fall).
Previously on Uptown Almanac
I'd need a couple days to go into how fucked up this mural is, but if you're looking to scare the shit out of your children into never eating fruits or vegetables again, take 'em on up to Clay & Polk. I am impressed that this atrocity managed to get thrown up in such a high-income neighborhood, especially with that onion flipping everybody off with its penis hand. Good job Big Apple Discount Center!
Grubstreet SF notes that a beer bar in Brooklyn called "Mission Dolores" has opened its doors. The website doesn't mention anything about weed truffles, Cold Beer, Cold Water, impromptu concerts, or NIMBY neighbors, but I still have high hopes. Anyways, it's like Shotwell's, only in a part of the country that snows and Jay-z talks about every other verse. But yeah, props on someone at least attempting to get California beers on tap somewhere in the northeast. I only wish someone would open up a bar in SF that does beer from the Northeast. San Francisco gets a lot of things, like nice weather and alcoholism, but damn does it not get beer.
Over on the dreaded Book of Faces, Shanti Deva has been kind enough to upload her amazing collection of old promotional postcards once distributed by Bill Graham's fabled Fillmore West.
Shanti writes, "My Dad's Mom was an awesome Grandma. She liked the artwork so much she got on the mailing list for the Fillmore. She decorated the kitchen with all these crazy postcards. Now I have them. I also have all her Beatles 45's. She gave me my first pair of GoGo Boots, taught me to crochet, and was the first person I knew to get MTV."
Shanti, your grandma sounds like she was one hip lady. All mine ever did was criticize my hair and tell me to stand up straight (sorry Mom, but it's true).
The entire collection can be found here.
This post about good and bad dates in 7x7's Bits + Bites slipped by me a few weeks ago but definitely deserves a look.
Bad First Dates:
El Farolito + Carlos’ Bar (Mission)
Achieving street cred is not the goal of a date. Burritos and a dive bar? Even a hipster should be ashamed.
I'm not sure a hipster should be ashamed, but the klanswoman that wrote this should be. First off, Farolito is a gift from the Gods themselves but obviously isn't a 7x7 reader's date spot (unless of course your date started at Mission Bar, you got faced and needed something to soak up all the liquor before you 'bump uglies' on your roommate's bed). It's fucking fast food. This choice took just about as much effort as saying "McDonald's and getting stabbed in Garfield Park" would be a bad first date. Even if you don't bleed out, you're probably going to have the shits for a month so, yeah, it's probably a crappy date. But what really gets me is pairing Carlos' to Farolito. To me, this whole choice is just shitting on Latinos. "Burritos and Tecates ewwwww lolroflmadingdongs who would do that?" A brown person you dumb bitch.