Saw this snail on Capp St. today. Thought it was totally adorable but figured you jackasses would be all "wtf, why is there a goddamn snail on this goddamn blog?" Therefore, I augmented the snail for your entertainment.
I know what you're thinking: Dang Kevin, that's one ugly flyer! And it is one ugly flyer, but if you don't have a
fixie, ahem, track bike (all the cool kids don't call them fixies anymore), you should roll to Box Dog and save 20%. That's like beer at Bender's for a week! Score!
On Sunday, I was looking for an excuse to get drunk before Church and I remembered it was Carnaval so I cracked open my first Keystone Light at 8:30 and made my way to 24th. Turns out I wasn't the only other person in the mood. In fact, with fears that Bay to Breakers might be canceled next year, I think Carnaval is easily the next big thing in SF degenerance:
- The streets are already closed to slow moving people and floats
- The streets are already filled with semi-naked boys and girls
- The streets are already filled with people dressed in funny costumes
- There are "mad roof parties"
- There are "mad stoop parties"
- The Mission is already covered in garbage and piss
- The parade ends very close to Dolores park, which is already full of garbage and piss
Let's do it people! Fuck those whiny NOPA neighbors. Let's do what we were born to do. Let's get drunk on 24th and piss all over the Mission.
It's our calling.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
I figured that because it was Memorial Day weekend, I would take a trip somewhere new. Somewhere like Noe Valley. Totally crashed a BBQ in which featured people mixing Four Loko with Cook's between shots of tequila, a crazy cats digging holes in the garden and a goddamn hen-house full of real life hens just cluckin' and diggin'. Fascinating! That said, the highlight of the trip west was the sass the roommates left for each other all over the house. Between Four Loko, champagne, sass and and sampling of Akon tracks, I'm pretty certain Noe Valley gays are my spirit animal.
Previously on Uptown Almanac
Bro was the highlight of my 3 o'clock hour at Carnaval. Just jumping from car to car. Smashing in their hoods. Shaking his ass. Thought about 'doing the right thing' and stopping him but I hate cockblocking fun.
As you can see in the evidence below, he has the vocal chords of a God.
Apparently there is this thing called Carnaval in the Mission. Neat! Unfortunately it starts at 9:30 in the morning (7:30 if you live anywhere near the hippie drum circle warm-up lounge). Anyways, because I assume most of you had better things to do with your morning, like have sex and eat Lucky Charms, I took my 7-year-old point-and-shoot that has survived two drops in the toilet (I like taking pictures of myself peeing) and my 5-month-old iPhone. Which do you think took better photos? Enjoy:
Anyways, what was my favorite scene of Carnaval 2010?