NEMA is a lifestyle brand masquerading as an apartment complex. Conveniently situated beside Twitter and Square HQs, the brand's terrarium of innovation is plastered in fauxghtleader slogans like “tech savvy, not shabby,” “innovate, don't imitate,” and “amenities, not enemies.”
But NEMA—a visionary neologism for “New Market”—knows not to throw up some glorified motivational posters and call it a killer launch. NEMA has been rolling out a series of lifestyle videos of what it means to be “NEMA.” The first attempt, embedded above, is enough to make vomit crawl up the throat of a normal human, but plays well to people who maintain Instagram accounts consisting of small dog and cupcake photos.
Now NEMA is “casting lifestyle models for a promotional video shoot for a San Francisco luxury high rise building,” and they have specific demands as to what it takes to look the part:
(Lead) upscale, classy, chic, sexy, urban, stylish and clean; classic look, no visible tattoos or piercings; will bring about 3 changes of wardrobe in neutral and warm colors (beige, taupe, brown, sagey green or blue or black and white); think Banana Republic or JCrew (with maybe a bit of higher fashion); chilly, so sweaters, leather jackets, suede, cool shoes all welcome. Note: Women will be required to do their own hair and makeup.
Models, you need to look like you live full time in a 4 star luxury resort-like high-rise.
We will create scenes in which you will be walking through a lobby, speaking with a concierge, talking on a cell phone, interacting with an iPad or laptop, laughing and talking with a friend, reading a newspaper, sipping coffee, riding an elevator, playing billiards, working out in gym, sitting by fire pit, (one of you) diving into pool.
The gig pays $50 a day, getting you well on your way to affording the $2,300 starting price for a studio.