♥♥ Download the Official Uptown Almanac Valentine ♥♥

Posted by Cosmic Amanda on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 1:44pm
Categorized: Romance & Sex
Tagged: free valentine, last ditch love effort

Can't make it to the store? Don't have time to DIY? Let Uptown Almanac do the wooing this year, with our very first official valentine. And with his cherubic good looks and voice of an angel, we can think of no better Cupid to sling our arrows than KRON's own Stanley Roberts.

So get out there and get romancin'! Share this sexy card with that special someone you may or may not have just met at the Google bus stop since that Refinery 29 article came out.

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Comments

Tony T.'s picture
Tony T. said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 3:44pm (link)

This is either the best or the worst valentine I've ever seen. I think I'll go run some stop signs on my bicycle until I can figure it out.

Stanley Roberts 's picture
Stanley Roberts said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 3:59pm (link)

Thank You Uptown Almanac! Happy Valentines Day to you too.

Robin's picture
Robin said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 4:20pm (link)

Funny!

Cosmic Amanda said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 8:32pm (link)

Let the record show that I earned the coveted triple Funny! from Robin.

HULK HOGAN's picture
HULK HOGAN said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 4:50pm (link)

Love feels like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.

Eric Gregory said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 5:10pm (link)

Are all of your comments going to quote Slavoj Žižek, Mr. Hogan?

Breaker breaker 19....this is horny bear, over.'s picture
Breaker breaker 19....this is horny bear, over. said on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 5:20pm (link)

I went to my favorite truck stop today in order to receive some sweet loving in the men's washroom area, but alas to my surprise, nothing. Valentine's Day sucks! :(

Why is Reddit on my Uptown's picture
Why is Reddit on my Uptown said on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 11:35am (link)

uh... since when did UA commenters decide novelty accounts were a thing here?

Novelty Idea's picture
Novelty Idea said on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:16pm (link)

I don't know, but i'm fucking pissed! I'm gonna get some black-bloc folks together, and we're gonna take this shit to the streets! You with me, fam? Attica! Attica! Attica!

SlobDog's picture
SlobDog said on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 8:24pm (link)

It's just well . . . you know . . . the whole post is . . . well - sexy.

Pinche's picture
Pinche said on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 9:18pm (link)

I just heard your favorite valentine say that Bicycle people are the same as dog people.

Wa you think of that

Stanley Roberts's picture
Stanley Roberts said on Sat, 02/16/2013 - 8:42am (link)

@pinche: nice attempt to troll this thread and take my comment out of context. That comment you're referring to was in reference to the level of nasty grams I receive from dog people, they are on par from the ones I get from bicycle people.

Pinche's picture
Pinche said on Sat, 02/16/2013 - 9:52am (link)

Thanks for clarifying. It was bad listening skills, not trolling that caused the confusion.

Salty Bather's picture
Salty Bather said on Sat, 02/16/2013 - 7:47pm (link)

How about cat and scooter people? How do they compare?

Stanley Roberts's picture
Stanley Roberts said on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 9:53pm (link)

Depends on what kind of scooter is the cat riding.

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