The Very Most Misguided Christians

Today a group of happy young people wearing black bandanas walked into Philz, so naturally I followed them outside and asked to take their picture. Let's face it, white people haven't looked this ridiculous since those kids from Brokencyde tried to freestyle scream-battle. 

Ben (in the jorts), a youth-pastorey type, was kind enough to let me take a picture of his little gang. He also explained that he and his bros were on field trip into the city, where they intended to witness all the gifts God had bestowed on San Francisco. I told Ben that if he wanted to, he could tell God, on our behalf, that God can have Pig & Pie and El Tomate back because, really, we're not using them.

I didn't have the heart to tell Ben and his group of enthusiastic young believers that wearing matching bandanas probably wasn't a great idea. I can understand how Philz on 24th Street might seem, to a bunch of suburbanites, like a great place to execute their wholesome mid-day activities, (see: drinking coffee, matching) but in a very real way, it definitely isn't. 

Despite their being totally sillipants, I hope this group of Christians have a great day in San Francisco and that someone has the balls to advise them towear red bandanas next time they feel like marveling at God's creation in Norteño territory. 

Comments (6)

I thought 24th street was sureno territory!

Be careful around the youth minister.

Those dudes are usually molesting children.

If you run into them again let them know that the blue hankie indicates a desire for anal sex:

Can we send them on a tour of the Armory? They might be interested in well preserved historical buildings. I think they have a crucifix in the basement too!

“…where they intended to witness all the gifts God had bestowed on San Francisco.”

An odd thing to do in a city where almost everything you can see is man-made. What did they do, jackhammer up the sidewalk and look at the dirt?

Be nice. This is going to be a great story for that girl in the middle after she moves up here and shacks up with a 42 year old welder named Bertha.

“God can have Pig & Pie and El Tomate back” A+