For the cool kids on the water wagon, Pabst Blue Ribbon's Chinese division has the ideal beverage to help you maintain both your irony and sobriety: Pabst Blue Water.  It has the same great Pabst taste we've all come to know and love, but with none of the calories or intoxicating side effects.  You can even water your plants with this stuff!

Oddly enough, this has been on the shelves of Chinese bodegas for over two years, yet it hasn't been imported into the American market.  They've even put together an epic TV ad of the Statue of Liberty standing tall over New York defending freedom while gripping a tall bottle of PBR Water.  Selling this stuff would be easier than luring a child into a van with Easter candy.  Get to work, Pabst.

[photo by Oldtasty]